Shes a Dreamer
by Captain Libeka
Summary: Bella is a dreamer. She dreams, sees and hears more than the average human. Particularly when it comes to a certain bronze haired boy. She is determined to find out his secrets. But Bella has a secret herself, Bella can read Edward's mind. ABANDONED
1. Prolouge

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the song 'Twilight' by Vanessa Carlton

* * *

Prologue

_I was stained with a role  
In a day not my own  
And as you walked into my life  
You showed what needed to be shown  
And I always knew what was right  
I just didn't know that I might  
Peel away and choose to see from such a different sight_

* * *

_The darkness grew into a blinding wall in front of my mind. I ran frantically down the hallways of the dark castle, trying to get away from the unseen enemy. My bare feet pounded on the floor and I felt my heart beating in my ears, I gasped as I realized that it was a beacon, a loud, tempting beacon to the man chasing me._

_I held my night dress high and glanced over my shoulder, scouring the shadows, I couldn't run forever. I flew past windows and empty doorways. The windows showed the dark night sky, only illuminated my ire full moon. The castles grounds spread far and wide out under the observation and faint illumination of the moon. The grander of the yards was wasted on my soul and feelings as I struggled for breathe, but I couldn't stop._

_A growl was heard from behind me, he was right there. He was coming to claim me._

_I quickly ducked to my left into a small alcove which was a perfect hiding spot, and tried to steady my breathing and racing heart. I closed my eyes and hoped for the best._

_"Isabella," crooned a soft, seductive voice "Do come out to play."_

_I ground my teeth together and ignored his voice, I would not be tempted of swayed._

_"Isabella," the voice called sending shivers down my spine "Please, I promise that I won't bite,"_

_I shuddered as I remembered his lips brushing against my neck and his icy arms wrapped around my waist. All this fighting and running was for nothing. He would find me. He could smell me and knew where I was. He was toying with me._

_I took a deep breath and stepped out from the shadows into the light of the moon. I didn't dare to look up, but I knew he was right there. My white dress clung to my body and dipped daringly low down my chest, the wind made it flutter around my legs and my hazel brown hair blew around me. I lifted up my eyes slowly to meet his own sparkling amber._

_His hair was laced with natural bronze highlights which complimented his pale skin and I was once again, as always, taken away by his beauty. He stepped towards me, a look of passion on his face, I shivered and resisted the urge to bit my lip._

_"Isabella," He reached out towards me cupping my face in his hand "Join me," he said leaning in towards me, I was once more lost in the depth of his eyes._

_"I-I can't!' I stuttered, not meaning it. My senses were overloaded by emotions. _

_Unconsciously he stepped closer towards me and pulled my face closer to his. My eyes fluttered closed as I prepared for his lips to softly meet mine..._

"Bella!"

I woke up and instantly fell out of my hammock, landing on the hard ground. That was how coordinated I am. Absolutey no coordination at all. I stared up at the swinging hammock above me and up through the tree branches. The light flicker through them but I made no attempt to stand up. My heart pounded as I brushed my hand over my lips, why did I always get interrupted at the best part?

"Bella!" Renee called again.

I sighed and mentally prepared myself for her onslaught. I turned my head and looked through the garden up to the house. We lived in a small bungalow in the sunny city of Phoenix. Renee walked over to me slowly as if scared I would bite her. I frowned and looked closely, usually she wouldn't hesitate to confide in me and tell me about her latest boy friend.

"Yes Mum," I called rubbing the last traces of sleep from my eyes and looked over at her from my spot on the ground. I reluctantly raised myself onto my elbows before smiling lazily at her.

"Bells? Are you okay?" Renee questioned as she finally reached me. She had noticed I saw sitting on the ground.

"Yeah I'm fine Mum," I assured her "I just had a bit of a nap,"

Renee immediately looked disapproving.

"Bella" she warned.

"Mum, its okay."

"No really Bella, I need you to listen to me before you... Well anyway, you really mustn't continue like this. Get your head back into the real world! I know you have dreams but you are 17 now! You need to focus on building a life!" Renee bent down next to me and held my abnormally pale hands in her own; we had had this lecture before. I knew how it would go.

I would get told off, I would convince her I would change and she would go off content while I would continue as always.

I knew Mum was worried. Ever since I was little I have been a dreamer. I would never concentrate in class, I was too busy day dreaming and I have never had a boy friend. Why bother when the boys in my head were do much more appealing and less stressful? Lately however my dreams have been getting more vivid and repetitive, when I say lately I actually mean over the past two years. Ever since I turned 15 my dreams have involved one thing. Beautiful teenagers.

This may seem normal to most people, but something about these dreams is emotionally stirring and realistic. It doesn't matter what situation, there are always five teenagers who feature in my dreams. I feel like they are real, there

One was a short, pixie-faced girl, with spiky black hair. She was beautiful and always graceful. Another girl had golden locks which reached down to her lower back; she had a gorgeous figure and seemed to be extremely commanding.

The next was a boy who was covered in large muscles. On top of his handsome face sat a mop of dark curls. Another boy had blonde wavy hair which framed his flawless face; he was medium height with a powerful build.

The last person was whom I dreamed most vividly, a young man not much older than myself. He had untidy bronze hair and sparkling golden eyes. His face was pale, paler than my own. And he was flawless. Everytime I saw him I felt my heart speed up for my imaginary boy.

They all shared some traits, amber eyes, beautifully pale skin and purple coloring under their eyes. Although all of this, I was sure they were not related.

I dreamed about them all the time. Sometimes I dreamed them in normal everyday situations, talking to each other, other times they were in school, normal everyday things; all where I was an observer. Unable to influence or communicate with them. Other times I imagined them in different scenes that my mine imagined (For example: from the latest books which I had read, or movies I had seem). Which ever way I imagined them, they always were flawless and beautiful.

Although there were figments of my imaginations I felt as if I knew them. I listen to there conversations and there playful banter. But one thing failed to happen. I could never quiet catch there names. Every time my mind tried to concentrate there names seemed to slip through my conscious and blur into nothingness. It was if someone were censoring them out of my dreams.

Unnamed beauties.

Lately I had taken to try to capture there beauty in my mind. I felt that because they were my minds creation, there was no real reason that I should not share them with the world. I traced them from my minds eye onto every piece of paper that I could get my hands on. In paint, pencils. On cardboard and on paper. I could never quite get there youth, spark and emotion which there flawless face's held. I could never fairly represent the curve of there cheeks or the grace of there smile.

It was only natural that my mother had began to worry when pictures of my 'imaginary friends' started to be pinned up around in my room. In my frustration I had tried repeatedly to figure out where I had been going wrong and failing. Lately, however I was starting to get better. There faces began to look similar and the emotions started to become more apparent. In the last week I had been trying to prefect the bronze haired boy's perfect smile.

I smiled as I imagined that gorgeous boy giving me his trade mark crooked smile. If he were real I would melt right there and then and not even care.

"That's it Bella!" Renee screeched noticing my dazed look and goofy smile, quickly getting to her feet in front of me "Your back into your dream world! Perhaps what your father and I decided really is for the best! I didn't want to... but maybe its for the best"

I stayed silent, I was confused, really confused. Renee and Charlie- my father- never talked, hardly ever since she had left him years ago.

"Mum?" I questioned.

"Well, your father and I have been talking," she suddenly looked very nervous, "And we decided that it would be best for your health if you spent a little bit of time away from the city…"

Suddenly I understood perfectly.

"Your shipping me off to Char- I mean Dad," I whispered.

Renee sighed and looked at me carefully.

"There is another option, I mean the psychiatrist said that it was natural for 15 year olds to escape into their mind, but this is getting ridiculous! You could always go back to…"

I jumped up and clenched my hands at my side trying not to let the tears fall from my eyes. "No Mum! You and I both know I'm not a nutcase! I don't need any help!"

Renee just looked sadly at me, her unspoken words hurt me. I imagined her saying "I'm just not so sure anymore,"- I knew it was what she was thinking- but she didn't understand. If she knew the truth, the _whole truth_, there would be no doubt that I would go back to the physiatrist, no doubt that she would think I was mad. Some things were better left unsaid.

Mum looked at me pleadingly.

"Please Bella you have to understand, I have tried everything honey. There's nothing wrong with being a dreamer but it's time that you realized that you must get over these fantasies!"

I sighed, she would never understand it was more than the dreams and I was in too deep to get out now, but if it made her and Charlie happy…

"Okay Mum." I mumbled.

"Excuse me?" she said in shock.

"You heard me," I said "I do realize that it must be hard to have a daughter like me and I also realize that this is best for both of us, besides, I haven't seen Charlie in ages"

Renee seemed shocked for an instant, I think she expected a little bit more resistance on the matter (kicking, screaming, and fighting) but no, I was willing to go quietly.

It's not like I was leaving much.

Yes I was in the middle of year 11 but it was nothing that I couldn't handle, I could just transfer to whatever school was closest to Charlie. It's not like my social life would be injured.

Let's just say that I never seemed to fit in. The only thing keeping me here is Renee and she obviously couldn't deal with me at the moment. Besides, Renee and her current boyfriend Phil were getting pretty serious maybe it was right that I was giving them some time, without the psychotic daughter.

"Oh," Renee said sounding disappointed, but we both knew it was for the best "I guess that was easier than I thought,"

And with that we both smiled at each other and went our separate ways, mine to back into my hammock and dream world, while her back into our house.

* * *

It had been two days since Renee had announced that I would be leaving. Too be quite honest it had been nothing extra ordinary. I didn't have a family that would want to see me one last time before I went and I definitely didn't have any friends who would be too dramatically affected by my departure. I wasn't resentful of the fact I was moving, if anything I was slightly happy, it would be a fresh start and I would get to spend time with Charlie- I really had to get into the habit of calling him 'Dad'.

I had finished packing up my room and left the pictures which covered my walls for last. I know it might seem slightly obsessive and weird but I had hundred of pictures which were everywhere. I couldn't stop painting them, trying to make them come alive and draw me into there fabulous and exotic lives.

I sighed as I began taking them down. I had tried to name them but found that I could not find names that gave them justice and fitted them perfectly.

I pulled the pictures off my walls and packed them into a box off to the side. Before moving on to the picture on the mirror which hung on my wall. I only kept one picture here, one of the bronze haired boy. I reached my finger tips out and ran them down the side of his face. I felt my heart quicken. I knew that he couldn't be a figment of my imagination, especially not when I heard what I heard. What I would never, and could never tell anyone.

I sighed as I felt the familiar tickle which pressed against the walls of my mind as I readied myself for the familiar presence of someone else in my head.

_I can't believe that they did that! I wonder if I could challenge him to a race… wouldn't be so cocky then…_

The voice which was coated in velvet and was deep and smooth resounded throughout my head. I smiled and sank to the floor, this I was used to, this I could deal with. Even if it made me potentially mad and crazy.

I knew that this was real. I heard him in my head. I knew it was the bronze haired, flawless boy, don't ask how I knew. I just knew.

I felt myself beam as I listened to his mind complain and plot against his siblings and friends.

It had to be real.

_He _was real. And one day I would find my bronze haired boy and prove once and for all, that I wasn't just a dreamer.

* * *

**A/N: So what do you think?** I know that I could never write anything as amazing as Stephanie Meyer but this is really fun to write.

Please Review if your fingers are not numb (It's really cold here), my ego would appreciate it.


	2. How to Deal

Disclaimer: I don't nor never will own Twilight (although you can't blame a girl for dreaming)

* * *

Chapter One: How to Deal

_Under your stars tonight_  
_We'll live and breathe this dream_  
_So close your eyes, but don't dream too deep_  
_And please pass me some memories_

* * *

I stared out the window of the plane tapping my fingers softly against the window. The landscape flew past me underneath the plane.

No sooner than had I packed it was time for me to leave, Renee had made her emotions plain to me and the entire airport, if anyone was watching they would think I was about to die of a brain tumor.

Yes, it was horrible. I found that I was comforting her instead of the other way around. I rubbed her back as she sobbed into my shirt. Renee wailed and blubbered; all the while trying to convince herself that this was the best option. People walked past us not sparing us even a glance, obviously people were used to over emotional females at airports.

Once Renee had calmed down enough to string together a logical sentence the final call for my flight boomed across the airport.

I felt like crying. I didn't really want to leave Mum, yet I was also relieved. This would be for the best. She would have some alone time and I could spend time with Charlie.

I hastily pulled her into another hug before I swept a few stray tears from my cheek and walked onto the plane.

Here I was, heading towards a little town in the middle of nowhere, which was _never _sunny (I should know, I googled it), and I was about to spend my senior year with a bunch of kids who had been spending there entire lives growing up together. I was not looking forewords to school.

What was it about planes, I wriggled closer to the edge of my seat, I was seated next to a man who I assumed had never walked anywhere in his life, he barley fit into his seat. Behind me was a wailing baby who would not be hushed or comforted. All this put together meant I was getting absolutely no sleep.

I stared out the window again and sighed. The boy in my head was silent once more.

Is it just me or did that sound way more crazy than it actually is?

I think it was time I clarified things a bit. I hear a boy in my head. I am not crazy, I know I'm not. Even my imagination could not conjure this up. On my fifteenth birthday I had passed out in the middle of my garden, my Mother fussed and had a panic attack. Of course she put it down to dehydration, but I knew better.

I will always remember when I first herd his voice. It was the day after my fifteenth birthday; I was lying in my bed staring at my ceiling contemplating life in general when my head began to ache. I rubbed my temples and tried to ignore it. The pain grew steadily worse until I found myself clutching my head and staggering into my bathroom. I fumbled with the cupboard and managed to pull out a container of aspirin. I gasped as I felt my mind contract and expand. I screeched and pressed my forehead up against the mirror hanging above my sink.

Suddenly as soon as it had come, the pain stopped. I was panting hard and sweating. I looked up at the mirror, I saw myself, my brown hair hanging around my shoulders, my dark eyes staring back at me glumly and my freakishly white skin; I never quite understood how I could live in one of the hottest, sunniest cities in America an still have absolutely no tan, I must be related to an albino.

I washed my face before my head started to tingle, not on the outside mind you, it was almost, well inside my head.

That was when I first heard it.

The smooth and perfect voice.

_Rain, rain, rain. All it ever does is rain here. I wish... I wish just once..._

Then I got an image accompanying the thought, just one. Of a large window which had a wonderful view of a forest. The view of the forest however was hampered by the rain which fell down the window pane.

As soon as it was there, it was gone again. I was shocked, at first. I dismissed it as the results of one messed up migraine. But as the days went by, the dreams followed. At first there were just glimpses of five teenagers from a distance whom were all slightly blurred, but as each night passed there became more clear and closer. I became the silent observer. I thought it was my imagination.

As the dreams came, so did the voice, more and more consistently. Every day, just once or sometimes even twice. The velvet, smooth voice came. Sometimes it was accompanied by a vision of sorts.

It was almost a month after the first vision. I knew for certain which of the five teenagers spoke in my head.

I was watching television, completely minding my own business when the tingling started; I braced myself with anticipation as my mind was once more shared with another. I bit my lip as my mind flashed.

_So repetitive, how many times must I repeat school! I wish I was stuck being slightly older like the others. They don't have to do science, over and over and over and over..._

At that direct moment I got a bird's eye view of a packed classroom. A balding teacher stood at the front of the class room trying to regain the attention back to him. It was packed full of students who looked to be around my own age. Students threw around paper and shouted at each other across the room.

The first thing I noticed was the bronze hair boy directly underneath me. He was from my dreams, my breath caught in my throat, he looked relaxed and yet almost irritated, while the entire class around him was in chaos, he was entirely still. He reminded me of a statue, calm, unfazed and flawless. He was even better than in my dreams. I knew that I was listening to his thoughts. I heard the conversations around the boy, girls gossiping, boys flirting and betting. I heard what he heard; from that moment onwards I was sure the voice was his

Now I wait for the tingling, always consistent and calming. Sometimes there were no visions, only thoughts, or the other way around. I seemed to me that they came in a pattern. When ever the boy was feeling a strong emotion I would see/hear what he did.

When he got I new car, I knew about and shared in his excitement.

_A Volvo! This is amazing, I love it!_

Or when his frustrations boiled over I heard his ramblings.

_Why, oh why am I stuck here? Sometimes I don't know why I just don't take off. Bout I could never leave my family… I wish… I feel empty…_

I heard his amusement.

_Oh gosh, he's so stupid. I can't believe he fell for it… He's lost the bet now; I hope he's happy…_

But as soon as they came, the visions left, lasting only for the briefest o moments, leaving me frustrated that I could never see the full picture, never know enough to piece together his life. The thing that frustrated me the most was the lack of names. I never heard one name, not the whole time.

Sometimes I am forced to question my sanity. I mean what kind of girl hears _and_ sees these kinds of things. After a while though I have just accept it and enjoyed it while it lasted.

I mean, what's the harm honestly? No one knows about it; I don't tell anyone about it. No harm done.

I was glad that after the first time I heard and saw these things, the pain lessened and now it was completely painless. The only side effect of the visions and thoughts was a slight tingling that passed through my head directly before they came.

I jolted out of my thoughts by a flight attendant touching my arm lightly. I had landed.

* * *

I stilled my nerves and stepped out into the airport waiting lounge. I pulled my bag up higher on my shoulder and was suddenly very conscious about my looks.

I hadn't seen Charlie in a while.

That had to be the understatement of the year. Correction, I hadn't seen him in years. Yes, we made the occasional birthday call but I have never really been a 'Daddies girl'. Ever since Renee left Forks, I don't see him much.

I smoothed out my jeans and looked down at my crinkled t-shirt. I knew I should have worn a jumper, it was cold already and the sky looked suspiciously dark.

I had never been one to worry about my appearance, but I never liked to think I looked horrible. I woke up every morning, brushed my hair flat and pulled on whatever clothes were clean, usually a pair of pants and a shirt- I'm not a big skirts and dress's kind of girl.

All of a sudden I saw Charlie across that airport; he leaptup from his chair as our eyes met. He walked over and awkwardly gave me a hug.

"Hey Bells," he said "It's nice to have you here!"

Charlie hadn't really changed much over the years. Apart from the few excess lines around his mouth and eyes, he was like all my pictures.

I gave him my most enthusiastic smile and replied, "Thank Char- Dad. I'm really glad to see you again!"

I gave him a firm hug and back away from him, hoping that he hadn't heard my mistake. I really had to remember to call him 'Dad'.

* * *

The car journey was tedious, after exhausting all possible topics for small talk, we had settled into an uneasy silence.

I knew what he was thinking. He knew that Renee was very worried about me. I kept on catching him glancing at me from the corner of his eye, as if to check that I hadn't sprouted any extra arms or legs.

As soon as we started to drive through Forks the tingling started.

That wasn't such a good thing. I wanted to at least get through one day without Charlie realising what a freak I was. I tried to ignore it, but it grew until I felt my mind join with another.

I looked out the window quickly, facing away from Charlie, hoping that he wouldn't be able to see the vacant expression which always covered my features when it began.

_Baseball time, finally… I'm going to win this time I've got the better team…._

I shook my head. The voice was louder and clearer than it had ever been. It rung out in my head; true and clear. It was so overpowering it almost hurt. It was strong and loud, unlike the soft echoes I was used to a home.

The voice was followed by a glimpse of a clearing. There were the five teenagers standing around together, I felt my heart rate increase as it hurt to look at them. They were clearer than I had ever seen them before. The sharp lines of there flawless cheek bones stood out firmly and I could see every hair on there heads. Unlike my usually 'visions' they were clear and I was close up, barley two meters away. My breathe caught in my lungs as I was, like always, awed by there beauty. My heart beat faster. And yet I was disappointed. The bronze haired boy had his back to me. Not that I didn't appreciate is hair, the nape of his neck, or the way that shirt highlighted his muscular back, but his face was much more enticing. My heart rate sped up as I thought about him. Is it sad that I got is way over a boy in my head?

As if he was alerted by my racing heart, the boy turned around and stared at the spot where I was observing from. He frowned, who ever knew that a frown could look so perfect. I studied his face for an instant while a look of confusion covered the features of the pixie like girl behind him.

_I swore that… there was…_

I was suddenly woken from my trance and pulled back to reality by a hand on my shoulder.

"Bella honey, we're here." Charlie said giving me a worried look "Are you-"

"I'-I'm fine Dad," I said quickly cutting him off "I think I must have jet lag,"

Unfortunately Charlie gave me a disbelieving look, I had to admit, even to me, it sounded like a blatant lie.

I stared out the car as we at the house. Nothing had changed in Forks, much to my dismay. It was still cloudy, as always and I knew that eventually the dark rain clouds would turn into a storm.

Still cold, still wet, still Charlie's place.

Nothing had changed, from the garden to the house; every little detail was the same as ever.

I stepped out of the car and pulled my bags out of the back of the car. Charlie quickly picked up the heavier of them and haled them up to the front door.

I looked up .There were a few steps which lead up to the door.

Fantastic.

Thank goodness Renee had the sense to buy a single story house without stairs, obviously though Charlie doesn't remember exactly how accident prone I was.

I knew I would have many bruises and those stairs would be responsible.

I managed to navigate the stairs outside and the ones inside which lead up to my room. I planted all my bags in my room and Charlie left me to unpack.

I sat on my bed and surveyed the room. It was fairly bland. It had an empty desk, bed and wardrobe. The walls were empty and the only decoration was a set of curtains which covered up the window.

I didn't know how to feel. I had left everything I knew behind me and everything in front of me was unknown. I decided then and there that I would make the most of this opportunity, although I hated the gloomy weather here, I would learn to make the most of it. Although I would miss Mum, I would deal with it. Although I knew I wouldn't fit in at my new school 'Forks High School' I would deal with that too.

Suddenly I heard a large clap of thunder. Instinctively I ran over to the window to search the skies for a sign of the lightning which always accompanies thunder. I drew the curtains and searched the skies.

Another clap of thunder rung out, yet it wasn't from overhead. I frowned and decided that I was being silly. I strained my eyes and searched the sky for a flash of light. Yet I was unable to get a full view of the sky-because of the roof of the house which was obviously blocking my line of sight. I pushed my hair out of my face and ran out of my room.

I managed to make it down the stairs safely (I do admit I did stumble on the last few stairs, but I managed to stop myself from falling)! Charlie stood in the kitchen obviously trying to cook up something for our dinner, which right now looked like two minute noodles with an unidentifiable vegetable. I knew he was trying but maybe I should take over.

'Dad," I called as I passed him "Let me cook tonight, okay?"

Charlie turned around and smiled appreciatively "Thanks Bella,"

"No worries, I'm just going to have a look at the garden, I'll do it when I get back,"

I didn't know what Charlie had been doing for the past years since Renee had left, maybe he had gotten take out every night? I wouldn't put that past him.

Charlie put down the knife and moved back into the lounge room where I heard the television switched on.

I moved outside and walked to the middle of the yard. A line of thick threes and foliage lay before me, the yard was cast in shadows from the clouds above and a slow breeze rustled the leaves around me on the ground.

Suddenly a loud clap of thunder rang through the sky as I quickly held my hands over my ears and clamped my eyes shut tightly. I resisted the urge to scream as I felt as if my ear drums would explode. Although almost as soon as it had started, it was over, leaving my ears ringing. My head pounded as I slowly removed my hands from my ears. I was so occupied that I barley felt my head tingled before he spoke.

_What an idiot! I can't believe him. Now _I'm _going to go and find that ball. People are going to get suspicious, it was reckless…_

The voice sounded louder and louder in my head. I gulped in air as I tried to concentrate. Thoughts filled my head going round and round. They were so fast I couldn't concentrate; they flittered in and out of my head like hundreds of people were screaming in my ears. But this was different. It was only one voice, one mind, just thinking so many things at one time.

_The sky today…_

_Baseball…_

_Alice…_

_I wonder if…_

I pushed my hand to my forehead and tried to block out the voices when in front on me, from the forest, rolled a ball.

For a moment I breathed in, close my eyes and tried to ignore the landslide of voices which were growing steadily louder. I managed to push (that was the only way to describe it) the voices to the back of my mind. I bent down and picked up the baseball which now lay at my feet. I tried to think up a logical explanation for why it was there but found that my mind was incapable of doing even that simple task.

Suddenly the velvet voice grew to enormous proportions and the ball fell out of my hand.

_This is near the Swans place, I wonder…_

_Where has that ball gotten too...There it is. Crap. Who is that girl?_

Suddenly I turned my head and looked up at the forest. There, before me, stood the bronze haired boy. His head tilted slightly to the side in confusion. His face was more perfect that I could have ever imagined. My breath was taken away once again and my heart sped up. Even though his body was tense he managed to do it with an air of grace. His hair was tousled and carelessly stood on end. His face was pale and dark shadows were under his eyes. His cheekbones and lips sat perfectly on his face and all his features oozed beauty.

_I can't hear her...Why… Oh, her blood… Smell… I need to get away._

Suddenly I grasped my head in pain as my mind exploded with more thoughts running through my head. What he was planning to do, his thinking, his options and his opinions. All came and went to fast for my brain to register.

_Oh no, what's wrong with her? I should help… I can't…. Tempting…_

I looked up at him one more time and my lips parted, I suddenly realized how much of an idiot I must look like. Clasping my head in pain, staring at him like a kid in a candy shop and my clothes crinkled from hours on the plane.

I let my hands fall and my lips curve into a smile before I met his liquid amber eyes and stopped fighting the torrent of thoughts which bombarded my mind.

I felt myself slipping backwards into the darkness and was dimly aware of my body falling with me.

Before my brain slipped into unconsciousness I felt an arm slip around my waist and an icy hand cradle the back of my head just before it hit the ground. I felt cold breathe blow across my face. Then there was darkness.

* * *

A/N: Oh, I feel so evil leaving it as a cliff, but I couldn't resist.

I have never been to America, so please excuse me if I get details wrong about airports, cars, cities etc. Gah, it's my birthday soon! I'm so excited. And four days before that, Breaking Dawn comes out! I am counting down the days, less than a month now!

Reviews make me feel loved. Fine! Don't do it. (Reverse psychology, works every time.)


	3. When She Goes

**Disclaimer:**I don't own Twilight -cry-. I do however own an oxford dictionary and a very fancy-looking calculator (which, for the record, I have no idea how to use).

* * *

Chapter Two: Where She Goes.

_Somehow I'm still alive inside  
You took my breath, but I survived  
I don't know how, but I don't even care_

* * *

_I was standing in my back yard staring down at my still body. I was cradled in the airs of the beautiful boy who had a look of indecision and confusion across his features. The wind blew harder across us, sweeping my hair out and blowing the leaves from the ground over us. It seemed to break the trance which he was under and he lifted his hand from my waist and carefully lay me onto the ground, as if I was a doll which he was afraid to break. His jaw was tense and his eyes flickered with all different emotions; usually I could read people well, but he was impossible._

_"Edward," said a woman's voice from behind me._

_I felt my ghost self gasp. I knew his name. It was old fashion and yet fit him perfectly. Edward._

_I turned around to see the source of the voice. The beautiful pixie faced girl stood directly behind me. She was considerably smaller than Edward and had a impish look to her face. Her short dark brown hair framed her perfect, unblemished face and her eyes, the same liquid amber as Edwards, shone. I was surprised, I was sure not much time had passed but I hadn't seen or heard her approach. But then again, I had been pretty distracted. _

_Edward looked up his amber eyes sparkling and his face tense._

_"Alice, I..." I smirked and my stomach flipped at the sound of his deep voice._

_"Edward, don't do that." Alice said. I looked at her in confusion. It was almost like my dream had skipped, like a C.D. It was as if I had missed some crucial conversation or there was some hidden factor that I was overlooking._

_"Alice, she just.. fainted." Edward said almost pleadingly._

_"Of course Edward," she said waving a hand dismissively in his direction her eyes firmly planted on my face "I saw."_

_She had seen? _

_She walked slowly forwards, her movements emitting grace and she seemed to be dancing rather than walking._

_"Of course," Edwards said drying before continue in a more serious tone "Alice..."_

_"Edward," she quickly cut him off "It wouldn't be the first time that a girl fainted in your presence" she let herself a little smile at her own joke._

_Edward rolled his eyes as the wind stopped blowing. He quickly glanced back down at me._

_"Alice, if you knew how... how good..." he trailed off._

_"Edward, I think you should leave. Right. Now." Alice said firmly "Before you go and do something that you will regret,"_

_Edward turned his head one last time to look at my body before he was gone. There was no other way to explain it. One second he was there and the next he was gone. I let my ghost mouth hang open and I blinked. Something was either wrong with me and my dreams... or there was something about these teenagers that was different. Yet I was the one having dreams, who was I to judge, yet I was still intrigued. _

_Alice sighed and blew a stray piece of hair out of her face._

_"You are going to make our lives every interesting," Alice smiled at my body on the floor "But if Edward manages to keep himself restrained, I think I may have finally found myself a shopping partner..."_

_It was as if she had as third eye, I knew that she defiantly had a hidden aspect in her. She was exactly the kind of girl who I would love to get to know better, even have as a friend. She had a sense of humor, yet she looked like a model. She was beautiful and graceful and not much older than me. She was probably still in school and I knew that she would be in the 'in' crowd. I had no chance._

_"Bella?" I heard Charlie call._

_Both my ghost self and Alice quickly looked up, Charlie stood in the middle of the kitchen looking out in the opposite direction to us._

_"Uh oh," I heard Alice whisper. She looked down at my body indecisively "Until we meet again Bella."_

_And with that she was gone, just as quickly as Edward had, she disappeared._

_"Bella..." I heard Charlie shout but it didn't register. I felt myself slipping. I was being sucked and pulled. The air left my lungs and my heart beat slowed down. I felt myself float downwards, out of my control, to meet my body which lay on the cold floor. This time when the darkness came upon me I didn't even try to fight. I was confused, that was for sure, tired and troubled. My mind whirled with questions._

_This time I welcomed the darkness._

* * *

My head felt heavy as I tried to turn it. I was disorientated and and my head was aching. I opened my eyes slowly, the light hurt my eyes and momentarily blinded me. As my eyes became used to the light I realised I was staring at the slanted roof of my room. I blinked a few more times, clearing my head. I licked my dry lips and ran my hand through my knotted hair.

I was suddenly aware that my mouth felt disgusting, a sure fact that I had been unconscious for a long time. And here I was trying to make Charlie realise that I wasn't crazy; not such a good start. Defiantly not a good start, especially when I myself was doubting my sanity.

I smiled as I remember my dream.

Edward. His name sent shivers down my spine and my smile grew to a grin which hurt my cheeks.

As my self awareness grew and I felt the last tendrils of darkness ease off my mind, I realise how free my mind felt. There was only one way to explain it. My head felt big. Not really my head; but my mind. It was almost as if my mind had expanded when I had been bombarded with Edwards thoughts.

I rubbed my head. It was the most bizare feeling. I felt although my mind were floating on a breeze, it was surrounded by nothingness; it, I was sure, would be replaced by Edwards thoughts if he ever returned.

I had been waiting for years to meet Edward and I wasn't disappointed. He was so beautiful. Not that I was shallow, but its hard for a girl to ignore something as major as his looks. Maybe he went to the same school as me?

I sighed as my headache returned with a vengeance, my head throbbed and I felt my stomach growl, reminding me that I hadn't probably eaten in quite a while.

As if on que, I heard footsteps coming up the steps. I starightened out my sheets as Charlie walked into the room carrying a steaming mug.

He looked up and his eyes widen when he saw I was awake.

"Bells, thank goodness. I have been so worried. How are you feeling?" he said setting the mug down on my desk, standing hesitantly at the side of my bed.

"I'm alright," I decided to play it safe and not mention my visitors "What happened?"

"Well I was going to ask you the same thing" Charlie said visibly relaxing "Dr. Cullen came in yesterday and told me you just needed rest,"

I rubbed my forehead in irritation, all this talking was making my head ache even more.

"Who sorry?" I questioned.

"Oh, Dr. Carlisle Cullen, he works down at the hospital, he is a truly wonderful man," I nodded slowly as a flicker of recognition sparked in the back of my mind, just out of reach. Where had I heard that name before?

I tuned out Charlies rambling for an instant while I tried to concentrate on where i had heard that name before.

"... He's even adopted five children, well its not very fair to call them children, they are around your age Bella, give or take a few years..."

I snapped to attention.

"Five teenagers?"

"Yes Bells, they are very... polite. I haven't had much trouble with them at all, very unlike so others from town," another thing about Charlie. He isn't just Charlie, hes Chief Swan, chief of the police. This fact had managed to escape my attention until now, I would be know about already as 'The chiefs daughter', fantastic.

I tried to be casual when I asked "Are any of these five, in my year?"

Charlie looked at me and frowned.

"Yes, I'm sure that the youngest is. I think his name was... Eric? No. Ethan?..."

"Edward?" I quickly injected.

Charlie looked at me quizzically "Yes. That's it. How did you..."

"Lucky guess," I shrugged cutting him off "Look Dad, how long was I unconscious for?"

Charlie looked a little put out at the change in conversation.

"Two days,"

I gasped, that was a long time. I did a quick calculation in my aching mind; I had missed my first day of school.

"Look Dad," I said "I'm feeling a lot better now. I don't know what happened. I guess I just was dehydrated or something, nothing to worry about. I'm feeling a lot better now,"

Carlie looked at me skeptically.

"Bella..."

"Dad, really I'm fine, just a little hungry."

That seemed to break him from his trance, he quickly reached over to the desk and picked up the mug which sat there and handed it to me.

"Thanks Dad," I took a long sip of the broth inside and looked up at him slowly.

"Dad, I was wonder if it were alright if I went to school tomorrow?"

Charlie immediately looked worried, I guess I would be worried if my daughter had just been unconcious for two days and then asked to go to school. So much for the 'making Charlie not think I was weird' plan.

"Bella, do you really think that is such a good idea?"

"I feel better already," I said smiling, trying to hide a cringe as my headache increased to a hard pounding.

"Well if you insist," Charlie said But if you don't feel so good, you can change your mind at any time and come home, okay?"

"Okay," I echoed.

"You just rest until tomorrow then," he said.

Charlie smiled and left the room. One thing which was fantastic about Charlie was that he wasn't very verbose, like myself. Although he wasn't as shy as I was, he couldn't be, he was the Chief Police officer.

I glanced over at my desk. There sitting right in the middle lay a battered baseball. I grinned as I stared at it. Charlie must have brought it in with me, thinking it was mine. It was a reminder that the events in the afternoon had actually occurred.

I let my though wander and they travelled to my new school.

Normal teenagers would relish a new school and the first day. The hours of staggering through the hallways lost, the tedious process of making new friends. Yet I was no normal teenager.

I need answers. I needed to know if the pain I felt yesterday would repeat itself. I wanted to see the other teens who I had not met yet. But most of all I wanted to see Edward.

I knew however, that I would never really be able to confront him or look him in the eyes. I was a coward. As these thoughts sunk in, I felt progressively worse and worse about attending school the following day. I had never fit in at my old school, why should this school be any different? I resisted the urge to cry as I swollow and tried to get rid of the lunp forming in my throat. I wish for once that I would be able to confront him and tackle my problem head on. I needed answer, which I knew I would be incapable of getting.

I rubbed my eyes, the night had crept upon me and before I realised, I was sitting in almost pitch black. To add to my horrible mood, the rain started. It hit the glass of my window and kept me awake. I wasn't used to this kind of weather in Phoenix. I closed my eyes and tried to stop thinking -if that were possible- so I could drift off to sleep.

I knew however that tonight, I would get no sleep.

* * *

**A/N:** I kind of rushed the end because I'm about to go out, so please excuse any spelling mistake etc. I know its kind of short than previous chapters. So, sorry about that. I just found out that people actually read my Authors notes! That's pretty cool. Whatever. Thanks for your lovely reviews! They are truly awesome and make my days! First day of school in the next chapter.

EnderACullen:You are my idol! I laughed so much (in a good way) at your message/review. Its okay, I don't think many of us truly has a large amount of patience (even if people say they do, I think that they lie). Hopefully this is a fast enough update for you :P

I can't update till after the weekend because I'm going away, a thousand apologies.

-Looks into Crystal ball- I see lots of reviews in my future.. (hopefully)


	4. Control Edward, Control

Disclaimer: I don't/never will/never have/will **not **ever own Twilight. Ms. Meyer is one lucky lady and I am merely borrowing her creations for my own fun. I don't own the song 'Slow me Down' by Emmy Rossum.

* * *

Chapter Three: Control Edward, Control.

_My head and my heart are colliding, chaotic  
Pace of the world  
I just wish I could stop it  
Try to appear like I've got it together  
I'm falling apart._

* * *

The morning was cold; it was always cold in Forks. I rifled through my unpacked baggage looking for something which would be warm enough and had not been creased by my non-existent packing skills.

The rain had continued the entire night; it pattered on my window and made sure that I managed to steal only a few hours sleep. Before I knew it, I was awakened by the thin light which managed to work its way through the dark clouds- which promised more rain during the day- and through my window.

I threw on a warm shirt with a dark red sweater on top. I wiggled into my jeans and dragged my brush through my knotted hair. I didn't bother with make up. To be honest I haven't ever seen much need for it, makeup never helps, and it just succeeds in making my skin powdery and orange. I stared at my reflection for an instant in the bathroom mirror. My pale skin shone back at me; don't get me wrong, pale skin can look spectacular on runway models for example. but my skin only succeed in making me look even more washed out. At least the cold had reddened my cheeks slightly. One positive about the cold weather. I flicked my long hair over one shoulder and made my way slowly- as to avoid injury- down the stairs to the kitchen.

Some how, I managed to catch my toe on the edge of the kitchen table when I walked past. I managed to right myself before I toppled over and caused myself a serious injury. I poured myself a bowl of cereal and sat down mulling over my first day of school.

Charlie had already left in his cruiser for work earlier in the morning leaving the house quite and still. I found myself immediately missing the chatter of my mother in the morning and the ring of her classical music coming from the back yard. I wondered if she was missing me too.

I shook my head. _She sent me away_, I thought bitterly. I immediately regretted the action when I was rewarded by the throbbing ache behind my eyes begin again. I almost growled in frustration, I refused to think about its cause, I just had to get through the day. I couldn't hope to see them, or _him_ at my new school. If I hoped I could only be disappointed.

I polished off my breakfast and shoved the dishes into the sink; I was not looking forward to school. I had to either walk to the nearest bus stop or walk the entire way- and it seemed as if my head ache would be my sole companion.

I knew that I should be mad at Charlie for leaving me, but strangely enough I didn't blame him. I

I hurried out into the adjoining lounge room and picked my bag of the sofa. I shoved my books, wallet and forms into it- not caring about the crumpled mess I was sure I was going to have to deal with at a later date.

I grabbed a raincoat, quickly pulling it on as I whirled out the door- with much caution as possible- and quickly slammed it behind me. I immediately felt the cold air nip at my bones and I wrapped my arms around my body, hoisting my bag higher on my shoulder.

I squinted out into the rain. It was hard to judge what time it was in Forks with the lack of sunlight; this would definitely be a problem. I groaned and blew a stray lock of hair from my face.

I stepped out of the cover and out into the rain. A flash of red caught my eye from in the drive way and I squinted my eyes trying to see through the torrent which was now falling around me and soaking my dark hair. I fumbled my way towards the red and stuck my hands out in front of me reaching.

I felt my hands hit something solid and cold. I swept the water from my eyes and surveyed the scene before me.

It was a car;- and if my deduction and Sherlock Holmes level detective work were correct- my very own car!

I felt my eyes fill up with involuntary tears, Charlie had brought me a car?

Sure it wasn't perfect. It looked at least 30 years old and I was sure that it did not even contain a tape player, let alone a radio. I was pretty sure that it could not go very fast, its engine might fail. But even under the rust, the chunky exterior and the imperfect mechanics I was in love. It reminded me so much of myself. Sturdy and plain- comparing myself to a car, I have been in Forks for too long. The red truck sat in the rain perfectly. At least if I was involved in a car crash, the other car would be destroyed and hopefully not my own.

I smiled and tried to door. It opened with surprising ease and I quickly slipped inside sheltering from the rain. I quickly pulled the door shut and glance around the interior of the car. Not too shabby. Not that I claim to know anything about cars, but it looked in working condition and not too old fashioned. It appeared as if someone had changed the entire dash board, replacing it; it was still old, but not ancient. It even had a radio!

Even though Charlie hadn't always been around. He still loved me, even if he wasn't- like me- very good at showing his emotions.

I spied a set of keys hanging from the ignition- just goes to show how trusting people are in small town, Toto, I'm not in Kansas anymore.

I quickly pushed my bag onto the seat next to me and turned the keys. I stated at the loud noise which erupted from under the bonnet. That could take some getting used to. I made a mental note to try to _appear _to be enjoying Forks more- for Charlie's sake, it wasn't his fault I was so messed up. He was a good father really.

I put the car into gear and set off towards my destination.

For years, I used to come down to Forks for summer to spend time with Charlie. Being brought up in Phoenix, however, left me despising the chilly weather and forever clouded skies, even at the peak of summer. In my youth, I never did make it a very private fact that I hated Forks. That's why it came to such a surprise when my Mum- my best friend and one of my only friends- decided to send me to the one place in the world where she knew I would be the most miserable.

I mentally slapped myself, unclenched my teeth and and eased my foot off the pedal. I shouldn't push my luck on my first day of school. I didn't even want to imagine what would happen if I wrapped this car around a tree trunk.

I navigated my way through the streets and along a thin highway, all memorised from the countless summers of visiting. After a ten minute drive I found myself pulling off the road and pulling into the school grounds. Charlie had taken me on a tour of Forks almost every year to point out the 'drastic changes' which had occurred while I had been gone. I never did pay much attention when we passed the school, it always reminded me that my school in Phoenix would always be waiting after a torturous Summer with Charlie.

I looked at the school properly for the first time in years. I didn't look much like a school. A bunch of buildings were huddled together and there were plants everywhere. Not just the occasional plant to make the school seem 'green and friendly'. But it was actually surrounded my shrubs and trees. I eased my car into the a small car park next to the main building.

I cut my engine and realised how early I must have been. There was no one there. I sighed and hauled my bag back onto the shoulder. I opened the door and made my way across the car park, making sure to avoid nasty pot holes filled with gallons of water; sure to saturate the hems of my jeans and keep me cold for the rest of the day.

I walked to the office and pulled the door open in front of me. I was hit by a blast of warm air and I quickly stepped towards it. The office was dominated by a counter which spit the room in half. You would not think that it was a small school -about 350 students in total- by the amount of paper work and books which were stack precariously on the desk almost obscuring the teacher, who was seated behind the desk. There were plants in bowls and pots which cluttered the floor and hung from the ceiling, it was all so... Green.

I walked forewards and nervously shifted my bag higher on my shoulder. I cleared my throat- clique I know- to get the lady's atenttion. The plump woman looked up at me with annoyed eyes. She was middle ages with a shock of red hair which covered her head. Her blue eyes stared up at me and her pale skin was a painful reminder of my own fair complexion.

"Can I help you?" she questioned gruffly.

"Yes, I-I'm Isabella Swan. I'm a new student here."

I saw recognition flare in her eyes as tried to subtley evaluate me, one of the most horrible traits of a small town. News travels fast. I was sure people had already heard that I had fainted. I was sure she would be on the phone as soon as I left telling her cronies how pale and sickly I looked. How I was the daughter of the Charlie, the Chief- who had fled from Forks with her mother leaving Charlie heartbroken years ago.

The joys of living in Forks, one of the countless reasons I was sure that Renee had left.

"Oh, Of course" she almost crooned "I have your schedule and information booklet here somewhere,"

She riffled through the countless forms and on her desk and managed to extract the right sheets. She highlighted the locations of my class rooms, went through the basic 'no leaving the school grounds, no fighting, no killing' school rules and gave me slips for all my teachers to sign- to be returned to her later that afternoon.

I thanked her and headed back to my truck.

I moved it to a more discrete corner of the car park and sat in the front seat trying to memorise the maps and my timetable. I was already a freak, I knew that I would topple over the second I took my eyes away from the pat ahead of me and onto a map. In truth, I knew that I was trying to avoid thinking about Edward.

Edward.

I didn't need to say anymore.

He went to this school. Perhaps... No this was exactly what I was trying to avoid. I was being stupid. I should be scared. Afraid of his topaz eyes, scared of things and thoughts which I could not logically explain, afraid of what I heard and saw. I should be afraid of the unknown. I didn't understand anything. I could hear his thoughts. That's not normal, I should be worried, scared or even annoyed and yet I felt strangely calm.

I closed my eyes and a memory of Edward fluttered beneath my eye lids. Him cathcing me, staring at me in shock and facination, him running away.

I breathed in deeply and exhaled.

_Another day in the life of a human. _

The velvet tone which I knew so well, interrupted my musing. I snapped my eyes open quickly and found the windshield in front of e was once again covered in torrents of water as the rain poured onto the car. I looked around at the blurs which was the car park.

A splash of blue, green and red. I smear of white and yellow. Not a very good vantage point if I was planning to see anyone. I sighed and quickly jumped out of my car.

The throbbing in my brain- which had been forgotten until that point- increased ten fold. I wrapped my arms around myself and gritted my teeth. I searched the car park. People were slowly making there way into the school ground in pairs and groups of people. It was hard to determine who was who because everyone was adorned with a heavy raincoat. I scanned over the cars. Most were nothing more fancy than my own, all looked years old and most were in worse condition that my own. The only car which looked out of place was the sleek, modern Volvo parked at the other end of the car park. I almost groaned in frustration and the rain started to get even harder! I was going to be soaked in a matter of seconds.

Wait.

Volvo?

Wasn't that the car which Edward was so thrilled about getting? I looked again closely and my heart jumped in my chest as I realised it _was _Edwards car. There was no question about it. The same one from my endless dreams and visions.

I knew that there should only be one reason that I wanted to see Edward again- thought it was not why my heart sped up at the thought of speaking to him. I was to try and make sense of this 'hearing his thoughts' business, it wasn't normal. I couldn't tell him. He would think it was insane. And what made me think that he would even want to talk to me? He obviously gorgeous, he was way out of my league, girls like me didn't even talk to boys like him- obviously- but I needed answers and there was only one way to get them. From the source.

I stealed myself against the rain which pelted against my face as a frantically searched the car park.

I couldn't just walk up to him. I could see the conversation now. _Hey Edward, I'm Bella and I can hear your thoughts and I see you in my dreams. Sounds wrong. But its neat huh? Can you think why I can do that? What do you mean you want a restraining order? _

There was no way that I could confront him, even if I had the guts to do it in this first place. He would think I was insane. I would have to work this out myself. No one could help me. No one would help. Maybe if I just talked to him I could get some sorts of vibes... Some clue to what was going on.

I needed to know what was happening.

I shivered as the wind crept up and swept from behind me towards the school and across the car park, sending my hair flying and the leaves around me flying towards the main buildings. I shut my eyes tightly and waited for the wind to die down.

_No, anything but her. Not here._

The velvet voice sounded in my head again. I snapped my eyes open and looked up across the car park. Juts next to the main building I saw a figure.

Edward.

He was taller than I remembered. He stood tensed his bag slung over one shoulder and his hands gripping it tightly, his knuckles turning white. He was still even more beautiful that I remembered. His tousled hair was sparkling with water and his clothes stuck to his skin, from the water which streamed down from the skies, highlighting his muscular chest. His lips were slightly parted in what I could only describe as a grimace. His pure white skin looked fairer in the cloudy, filtered light. His high cheek bones stood prominent and his sharp, yet beautiful chin was slightly raised as if he were smelling the air.

But my eyes were caught in his. His liquid amber eyes bored into my own and smouldered making my heart speed up and my breathe hitch in the throat. I stopped noticing everything around me; I was now filled with only the slow buzzing which filled my ears and the feeling of his eyes on mine.

_Control Edward, Control. Shes just one human. _

I was snapped from my thoughts as he suddenly frowned and spun away, releasing me from his gaze. He quickly turned around and stepped towards the shelter of the school buildings and out of sight. I staggered forwards slightly and looked at his retreating figure. For a man, he moved gracefully, as if he were gliding. He made someone like me - the biggest klutz in the world- seem as graceful as an elephant.

I stared at his retreating form for a moment longer- silly as it may seem- I was almost hurt by his sudden rejection and obvious distaste at the mere thought of me. I had come to know him very well after the years of hearing his vague thoughts and feelings. I hadn't exactly been expecting him to walk towards me with his arms wide open- he didn't even know me!-; but I didn't expect such a, well, cold reception. In fact, until a few days ago I had thought I would never see him apart from in my dreams, let alone speak to him! I shouldn't have had any expectations. My heart thumped unexpectedly when I thought of his rejection and his grimace, as if he had smelled something horrible.

_Control for my family. For Carlise. Control. Control. Control._

His voice sounded in my head once more. He chanted the words over and over again incessantly, like a mantra. It filled my head and I gritted my teeth as I realised I was late for school. I walked towards the school buildings trying to remember where my first lesson was.

_Control. Control. Control._

Was it is in the building on the right or left? I would hate to walk into the wrong class room. It was bad enough being new, it would be making an idiot out of yourself on the first day.

_Control. Control. Control._

The throbbing of my head had stopped but the torrent of thoughts did not. I think my proximity to Edward effected how strong his thoughts were. My head was filled with his thoughts all flowing too fast for me to quite catch. It was like when you awoke from a dream and tried to recall what happened, and it kept on alluding me. It was becoming infuriatingly annoying. I knew I could only hear his main thoughts, but even that was too much. The thoughts never stopped, the incessant hum of his thoughts pressing into my head and the distracting buzz of another in my mind.

_Control. Control. Control._

Frustrated, I muttered under my breathe "I think you need to _control_ your thoughts."

Silence.

I blinked twice and glanced around me.

_A coincidence. It must be. It can't be..._

His voice startled me again, he couldn't have possibly heard me. He must have been too far away from me now, to be able to hear me. Just a coincidence. I almost rolled my eyes and laughed. If only he really knew. What a coincidence. He couldn't possibly have heard what I had said.

I took a chance and walked into the class room on my left. I followed to girls who where close together- gossiping under their breath- and turned into the small class room. Nothing that I had not seen before. Tables, chairs, faces and a teacher. The class room was small a dull, lit only by the dim lights on the room.

I walked to the front of the class room and tryed to ignore Edward's inner rambling.

_Maybe I should go, why has she come now? She could destroy everything we have worked so hard to preserve. It would be all my fault..._

I tried not to grimace at his words, I didn't even try to discover what he meant. I had far to many questions and far too little answers.

I smiled at my teacher and handed him my slip of paper; letting my hair fall in front of my face hiding myself from the class who had grown silent. I felt my cheeks heat up and I knew that the whole class must be staring at me.

I was sure that they had all grown up together, gone to preschool together, struggled through school together and I was sure that there were hardly ever new students. Who would willingly move out to Forks? That's why they were staring at me in silence, new faces were a rarity. If only the voice in my head would be silent as well.

I pressed my lips closer together and tried to quell the rising anxiety in my gut.

Until this point I had never imagined that I would want the voice, want Edward, to be gone. I never even considered what it would like to not hear him, see him. Never.

_It would be so easy. Maybe_ _I should just kill her._

Until now.

* * *

**A/N: **To my wonderful friend **FireElfglitter** (who I am sure is stalking me on the net, how else would she find my account?), who threatened me –quiet successfully I might add- at school into updating this story. I am truly sorry for the long wait, I just got distracted and kept on telling myself "I will just update tomorrow" and it never happened. Thanks to my awesome reviewers, it made my day when I got a new review! A big thanks to **GryffinGirl15** and **Lianna Weschester** for your messages, they really helped to get me motivated. This chapter is for you. I will try and update fairly regularly from now on. Coming up: Biology with a twist.

Reviews would be enticingly, excitingly excellent.


	5. Fear

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns. The song 'Fear' belongs to Sarah McLachlan.

* * *

Chapter Four: Fear

_But I fear  
I have so much to lose  
I have nothing to give  
We have so much to lose..._

* * *

To say I was rattled would be an understatement. To say that I was afraid would be a severe misjudgment. To say that I was terrified might have been the appropriate terminology. I think I forgot how to breathe. I think my heart stopped beating. I had to concentrate very hard to make sure I would not start hyperventilating right there in front of a class of students.

My throat closed and I saw the teacher's face swim before my eyes. I felt my knees weaken beneath me and my palms felt sweaty and my head pounded as I tried to remember to breathe. I sucked in through my mouth, sounding painfully like a sob to my own ears, as tears swum in my eyes. I was terrified. I managed to pause for a minute as I tried to fit the overwhelming urge I had to run. Run back to my mother. Run away from the scary perfection that was Edward Cullen.

_It would be easy. She's a only human._

I gasped and clutched to the teacher's desk, which I stood next to, trying to find anything that could anchor me to the real world and away from the horrors which crowded my mind. I couldn't imagine what I was hearing. I could not even begin to contemplate it. I tried to calm myself down but my heart rate increased and I felt as if it would burst from my chest.. Edward must be insane. The only explanation. He wouldn't try anything in the middle of the school anyway; who would even think anything like that? Who?

Edward obviously.

I breathed in once more and felt a wave of calm flush over me and I felt immediately at ease. I straightened, all my previous anguish forgotten. I blinked twice and stared up at the teacher who was looking at me as if I had grown a third head. I felt strangely calm for a girl who just found out that Edward wanted to effectively kill me. I couldn't explain it, I couldn't even think straight.

_Jasper._

I heard Edward growl in my head. And I was immediately confused. It seemed as if Edward was explaining, although that was not possible. The reappearance of his voice did not strike fear into my heart as it should, I felt as if I were flying. Fear was a foreign concept to my mind while I was in this state. I almost growled-to match his- in frustration. I should be annoyed, afraid even angry. Not calm! What was wrong with me? And who was Jasper?

_Alice and her meddling._

Alice? The pixie faced girl I had seen him with the other day. What did she have to do with anything? Perhaps she had messed up his bag or his homework. I racked my emotionally neutral brain for possibilities and meanings to his words, but I each answer became more and more ridiculous, even to my own mind I sounded insane. I was finding it hard to concentrate on one thoughts as she calming vibes washed over me more renewed and strong than before. I assumed 'Jasper' was Edwards brother. I tossed up between the two unnamed boys who still graced my dreams. The burly jock or the tall blonde- both stunningly beautiful, naturally. I guessed it would be the taller of the two, the graceful blonde. Jasper just seemed to fit. At least I had placed a name- even if might be incorrect- to his face.

Remembering the presence of the entire class and my teacher- still feeling calm and collected- I smiled goofly up at my teacher who raised an eyebrow. He looked at the silent class and then back at myself. I stared back at him annoyed, I did not want to be reprimanded right here in front of my class. He probably thought I had an illness and he was going to send me home. Charlie wouldn't like that much. He tried, unsuccessfully, last night to convince me to stay home. I didn't want to worry him more than I already have.

My teacher leaned towards me and muttered conspiratorially "Isabella, if you aren't a good public speaking. I don't see a need for you to formally introduce yourself to the class."

"Its Bella" I corrected automatically before did a double take.

I stared at him incredulously, my problems with Edward momentarily forgotten. He had thought that I had been so worked up about introducing myself? I almost laughed at the ridiculous misunderstanding and my I felt my heart slow down. I felt the tide of calm slowly ebb away, leaving me more and more to my own emotions. It left as soon as it came and I was left with a slight pain in my chest reminding me Edwards comments and only the murmur of his quick, unfathomable thoughts which filled the back of my mind, causing my stomach to twist in what I could only describe as fear.

_Bella, not Isabella. I better remember that one... _

I almost started, but I was becoming more and more used to his voice in my mind, but that was not the reason why I was startled. This was the second time his thoughts had corresponded with something I had said.

When we hadn't been anywhere near each other.

Was he attached to me like I was so attached to him?

No.

That wasn't the answer. But I didn't have any other possible, logical answers!

Perhaps he had Clark Kent related powers. This was a small town, things like that might happen here. Perhaps he was an alien, the last of his kind in the whole word.

One fault to this theory. Aliens are not real. And it sounds completely insane! Seriously, Aliens are not real. Slightly hypocritical coming from the girl who hears someone elses thought, I know.

I was brought from my brooding by my teacher clearing his throat in front of me. He shook his head and gestured out over the classroom, obviously deciding that in my 'fragile' state of mind that I was not capable of introducing myself to the class.

Every ones eyes were on me. Not a pleasant feeling, I tried my hardest to keep my eyes firmly plastered on the desk which the teacher was pointing too, trying not to raise my head or trip over as I walked down the isle of desks.

_So frustrating! I wish I knew what she was thinking. Knew who she was! Knew why she was here! Why would that be..._

I ignored the rhymes which Edward spoke in and firmly planted myself into the chair. I didn't have enough time to try and decifer them right now. I decided that he was not going to ruin my first day of school. It might nice to actually make some friends for a change rather than be considered a freak who cannot walk in a straight line. Just for a day at least.

Edwards ramblings continued for the rest of the lesson although his thoughts were often too quick for me to catch or kept invading my conscious. The mumbles and background noise of his mind was infuriating. It just wouldn't stop. I found that if I ignored the sounds however, it would die down considerably, but I would soon be drawn back into the web which was his complex mind when a new thought would resurface.

_She shouldn't have come here._

_Control Edward._

_It would be so easy. So simple._

_I need to get away._

I tried to ignore his thoughts which concerned me. I hadn't even done anything and here he was acting as if I had ruined his life! I took notes from our English lesson to distract myself, it was basic stuff. All work and topics which I had covered at my own school. This class was so far behind it wasn't funny. At least I wouldn't have to put an outrageous amount of effort into English.

I tried to quell the fear which curled in my stomach every time Edwards pure, silky voice cut into my mind and I tried to stop the bile from building up in my throat. I swallowed and forgot about the class room in front of me while I concentrated on the teacher in front of me and keeping my breathing steady. I looked everywhere trying to keep my mind occupied. Trying to ignore Edwards comments.

I knew that I couldn't have a panic attack here, as much as I wanted to, and I needed to keep it together. I started to play music to myself in my head, anything to keep my mind from wandering onto the topic of Edward. The strange thoughts which he harboured. I couldn't think about that. I knew if I did, that the magnitude of the situation would hit me, and then not only Renee would think I was insane.

To put it simply, I was freaked out and I had no options.

I was woken from my trance by a soft tapping on my shoulder.

I glanced backwards in shock. Behind me sat a skinny boy who looked too young to be in my class. He had slick back hair paired with white skin-must have been common in Forks. He had a long face and a scattering of pimples which covered his cheeks. He grinned at me with a peasant gleam in his eye.

I automatically smiled back at his welcoming face, the first person to even acknowledge my existence. I was surprised that anyone was talking to me, let alone acknowledging my presence, it had taken people years to notice me at Phoenix.

"Hey" he said in a clear voice, trying the heads of the people sitting near us "I'm Eric"

"Nice to meet you, I'm Bella," I sounded like I had just come out of a Jane Austen novel, so formal.

"How you liking Forks so far?" Eric questioned.

I struggled for a truthful answer "Its... Cold."

Eric beamed like I had just told him he'd won the lottery.

"Whats your next class?" he asked standing, I realised that indeed the lesson had finished, I was too wrapped up in my own issues that I hadn't realised!

I pulled out my time table and glance quickly down "Um... Government with Jeffferson, building 6,"

His smile increased and he replied "I'm in building 4, I can show you the way if you like,"

"Thanks Eric, that would be great,"

"So are you staying with family?"

We continued a polite conversation -which if I was asked to repeat I would not be able too. I smiled and nodded at the right times all the while trying to ignore that chatter in my head. I should really have paid more attention, he was the first person who had shown me any kindness in this place.

I continued throughout the day. A few people sat next to me in class and made polite conversation, their curiosity obvious in their eyes. Edwards voice did not disappear, it was defiantly still there, if not that prominent- although he seemed to almost be brooding.

People gradually built enough courage to introduce themselves to me. I sat next to one girl twice, her name turned out to be Jessica. She was short with whild curly hair which made up for the height difference. She had a peasant face. After asking the basic questions she continues to drill me about what I though about the boys/girls here and she promptly informed me of all the latest 'gossip'. It was at this point which I switched off.

We left the class together while she was still talking.

I lined up in the line and grabbed a tray full of food which I was sure contained about as much nutrition as an old boot. I quickly walked behind Jessica to a table in the middle of the room which was packed with teenagers about my age.

_Calm, I can give Alice calm! I am completely in control! What does she think I will do? Kill her?_

The venom in Edwards voice startled me and a promptly dropped my tray of food. By now you would have thought that I was getting used to his threats and causal thoughts about ending my life. Nope. Not a chance that would happen. I don't think I would ever get used to it.

I quickly bent my knees over and tried not to think about all the eyes on my face as I felt my cheeks burn. I suddenly saw a hand pick up my tray. I glanced upwards and saw a by around my age. He had blonde hair which was orderly spiked and he had light blue eyes. I stared up at him as he beamed at me with straight sparkling teeth.

_Newton to the rescue._

"Careful there," he said interrupting the voice in my head "I'm Mike,"

He put his hand out towards me and I quickly grasped it as he pulled me to my feet.

"Bella," I said back. I was aware of Jessica, who was now on my right side, I could feel her annoyance radiating off of her as she glared at me. I was in her territory, clearly Mike was hers.

"How you liking Forks?" Mike asked his eyes never leaving my face, completely ignoring that fact the Jessica stood next to me ready to commit murder.

"Alright thanks," I smiled being polite, "It would be better if I could actually walk across a flat surface,"

Mike beamed at me and I felt Jessica stiffen at my side.

"Mike," she cooed bringing herself closer to him giving him a good vantage point down her v-neck top. I almost cringed as I watched the pair.

Suddenly feeling like a third wheel, I quickly sat down on the table. Mike managed to disentangle himself from Jessica and I was quickly introduced to everyone on the table, the only person who I could remember was a slight girl whom I sat next to, Angela. She smiled back at me, nodding when she was introduced by an enthusiastic Mike. I glanced to my left and a few tables down I spied Eric waving furiously at me. I smiled and quickly waved.

I glanced behind Eric looking at the faces in him table who I reconised from some of my lessons, at this point something caught the my eye.

I quickly turned to my right and saw what my dreams were made of.

There in a group sat the five teenagers. They were all staring off in different directions occasionally there lips moving signally that they were in fact peaking to each other. Full trays of food lay in front of them but neither of them moved. there sat the tall blonde who looked like she had just walked off a catwalk in Milan. Next to her sat the burly youth with the dark hair. Opposite them sat the one I had dubbed Jasper and the pixies faced Alice. I dreaded looking, but I was addicted. I knew what came next. I slowly turned my eyes toward the final member of their group. There, on the end of the table sat Edward. His hair was tousled as he ran a hand trough it leaving my breathe stuck in my chest. Even after everything, the fascination and awe had not left me. The noise of the cafeteria died away and I stared at him for a few more moments.

The voices in my head were muted and the chatter of Jessica was ceased as well. It felt like it was just me and him.

"What you staring at?" I heard Jessica ask from a distance as she followed my gaze her voice filled with distaste "Oh. Them."

Suddenly Edward's face snapped up and his eyes sought out table. His eyes met mine, his eyes were still the amazing topaz colour that they had always been. I was paralyzed. I couldn't move even if I wanted to, I felt my heart beat speed up. Instead of looking away like someone normally would, he continued to stare at my face his eyes, I was sure, taking it all in.

_Shes... beautiful._

I gasped and immediately looked down at the table my cheeks burning. The first nice thing he had thought since I had arrived here. But it must have been a one off, who would think that about me, the plain, brown haired albino? Defiantly not him. Maybe my brain wasn't working quite right. I glanced over at Jessica who looked annoyed- again.

"Don't even bother," Jessica sneered 'He thinks hes better than all of us,"

It came to my attention that Jessica had once probably been rejected by him. Cal it intuition or the bitterness in her voice. Whoops. I held back a small smile and listen while she continued.

"They are all adopted but they are so.. together. You would understand once you have been her a little while longer. But Edward," she shook her head and stared off in wonder "He's so... Distant. He's like, way out of your league."

I couldn't help but be slightly offended by her comment, you just didn't say things like that to people, even if it was entirley true. I tried to hear Edward's thoughts and was bombarded with fast thoughts all at once, all in a jumble. He was thinking so much at once! It hurt my head.

I forced it into the back of my mind into background noise and allowed myself one more fleeting glance at Edward who was talking to Alice, his lips barley moving leaning over the table.

From that point my brain refused to think anymore. I couldn't follow any of the conversation on the table and I answered any questions which where posed to me but I didn't offer much input into the conversation. All my thoughts were centred on Edward. Sad and yet true. I had to use all my control to stop staring at the five teens who sat in the corner.

Soon lunch was over and I found myself hussled by Mike who, much to his happiness, had biology with me. I tried my hardest not to watch them leave the room. I watched the pale teenagers walked gracefully from the room, even the boys moved like dancers. Edward walked slower than the others, a few steps behind his siblings, and threw one last glance straight at me, over his shoulder. His cool velevet thoughts piercing my mind.

_She has no idea what she does to me._

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**A/N:**Okay,. I am splitting this chapter into two because it is extra long.. but the next chapter is already written. I just have to decide how long until I post the next part. Mwhaha. Please review and I will have the next part up really soon once I have edited it and junk. I am shocked that yet another of my friends are stalking me! **Ejamba **how could you? I am pretty sure that you will get malaria for this. But thank you for telling me to update, again and again and again.

Please, Review.


	6. Alice to the Rescue

Disclaimer: StephanieMeyerownsTwilgihtAndCaptianLibekadoesnot. I never, ever claim to own 'I'd Lie' by Taylor Swift either.

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Chapter Five: Alice to the Rescue

_He looks around the room  
Innocently overlooks the truth  
Shouldn't a light go on?  
Doesn't he know that I've had him memorized for so long?  
He sees everything black and white  
Never let nobody see him cry  
I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine_

* * *

Just when I thought that I could not be anymore confused.

I was obviously wrong.

I stared at his insanely handsome features for an instant my mouth gaping as he turned his head and headed out the doors following his siblings. I didn't know how to react. I didn't know weather to be scared, shocked or happy. I felt my heart pound.

I thought Edward hated me. No, that isn't a strong enough word. I thought he _despised _me! Perhaps my first impression of him was wrong, perhaps I misjudged him.

_Oh sure Bella, he wants to kill you but secertly deep, deep down he likes you_. I don't think so. As much as I wanted him to like me, as much as I wanted him to just talk to me. I knew that there was almost no possibly of that. Boys like Edward never even looked at girls like me. We weren't on the same planet, the same galaxy, the same universe!

I had waited for what felt like an eternity for this day. The day that I would finally meet him, the boy in my dreams. I am embarrassed to admit that I had pictured our meeting numerous times. I would run into him in a freak twist of fate, he would love me at first sight, I would tell him about my 'gift' and he would love me anyway. Of course these were the fantasies of a 15 year old Bella Sawn, as I grew up I realised in impossibility of this occurring. Still, it didn't stop me from having a quick day dream every now and then.

Perhaps I was being unreasonable. I didn't know Edward, he could be horrible for all I knew. He had thought horrible things about me, that was enough proof to say that he was nasty. But all my previous information and his thoughts proved that wrong. I remember the tenderness which he thought of his family, the care which he showed when handing delicate situations between his siblings and the calmness and beauty in his talented piano playing. Someone who possessed all these qualities could not be horrible.

He couldn't be. That's why I would not give up. If I had been normal, I wouldn't have heard anything to incriminate Edward, his thoughts were private. He hadn't done anything to harm me, yet.

I had to put faith in my intuition and judgement. I wanted to trust Edward, I _trusted_ Edward, with my whole heart.

Pathetic because I didn't have a single reason too.

Not one reason.

Still stunned after my brief encounter with a certain Cullen, I followed Mike and tried to pay attention to his voice, but my thoughts kept on wandering to Edward. I tried to remember to watch where I put my feet as I tried to match my stride to Mikes', resisting the urge to smile when I thought of Edwards face.

"Whoops, I think we are a little late," Mike commented apologetically, although the gleam in his eye gave away the he was anything but apologetic.

I looked up as we entered the class room and realized that we were indeed rather late. Everyone was already seated and all the desks were already taken. Mike glanced around while my eyes found the teacher who had to sign my slip. I pulled out the piece of paper from my bag.

"Tyler saved me a seat already Bella, I'm sorry," Mike whispered in my ear. His breath blowing around my hair and his lips lingering near my ear, almost intimately. Gross.

I smiled at Mike, being polite, who looked truly heartbroken at being parted from me.

"I don't mind really," I whispered back. He grinned at me.

"I will wait for you after school Bells," Since when had I been Bells to him?

As I watched him turn and walk down the aisle I furrowed my forehead as I thought. If I didn't know better, I think I might have a problem with Mike. The 'fend him off with a wooden stick' problem, maybe I was encouraging him somehow. I didn't have much experience with boys, full stop. They just walk right past me, the quirky girl with an addiction to sarcasm- who need heroine when you have your own sarcasm? One thing was certain, if Mike got any friendlier, Jessica might actually strangle me. Jessica obviously had some claim to Mike, weather he knew it or not. Probably that latter. Mike was oblivious. I didn't want to have to think about that, I might lose my only friend her so far. I would have to be careful about Jessica.

I had unconsciously been staring at Mikes back, who turned his head slightly as he ran his eyes down my body. I felt myself turn beet red.

_God, Newton should get his mind out of the gutter. I wish I had some sort of built in filter for this sort of thing._

I felt myself smile slightly as I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. This voice in the head thing, I could get used too.

Wait.

Two things.

In built filter on what- Edwards thoughts just became more and more incoherent-? And if he had been able to see Mike... Then that must mean he was here. In this room. In my vicinity.

My eyes trailed up and down the seats and fell on Edward. I felt like the air had been sucked from my lungs and my hands felt clammy. I registered the teacher taking the slip from my hands, which I had moments earlier fished out of my bag, but I was too far gone to really care.

Edward was in my class. He sat right there. And right next to him was the only vacant seat.

In the entire class.

I scanned the seats around him nervously searching for another seat. As crazy as it seemed, I was afraid but not how I should be. I was afraid about how _excited_ I was about sitting next to him!

_She looks… Worried. Wouldn't be the first time someone was afraid of me. For good reason, who could like, let alone be comfortable around a monster like me?_

I stared at Edward and firmed my face into a emotionless mask and forced myself to calm down. That statement chilled and confused me. Edward looked like a model. No, that was an understatement, Edward looked like a super model. yet I had noticed in the cafeteria that the majority of the student body, excluding his siblings, gave him a wide berth. Nobody even pain attention to him. It was like he blended into the background, which was the opposite of how he was to me. I watched for him, it seemed like I was the only one. How pathetic. As much as I hate to admit it, the entirety of today I have been thinking about Edward, even when I am trying desperately not too.

But back to the present. Why would anyone like Edward think of himself a monster? He must have some serious self confidence issues, or he was a monster... which was highly unlikely. Not unless he had a chainsaw or a hacksaw.

The teacher passed my sheet back to me. I didn't even register his name. I swallowed and made my way down the isle as I tried to avoid looking at him. I didn't want to seem like a phyco stalker.

I have to admit, I had stage fright.

I was shy.

Whatever you want to call it. Here I was sitting next to Edward Cullen. Do I need to say anymore?

Yet I was determined to prove him wrong, I was not afraid of him.

The class had now fallen silent and the teacher was fiddling with the heating above his desk. In a sudden movement Edwards eyes flickered to me and my world stopped.

In a spit second, I heard the heater jump to life and the heat blew from behind e spreading the warm air throughout the classroom.

Suddenly Edward sat up. Straight, in one sharp movement.

_So tempting. Temptress._

I tugged on my shirt in embarrassment as his eyes suddenly turned cold. It was so sudden. His eyes which were once full of boredom were now full of a malice so true that the force made me stagger, I had to catch myself before I fell over in the middle of the classroom.

_Shes even weaker than the average human, why is she making it so easy? It would be so easy._

I took a step closer.

_Why is she here?_

I tried to shut out his voice.

_Why is she torturing me?_

I ignored everything he said, I tried to fill my mind with happy thoughts of my home in Phoenix and of my mother. I continued to walk closer.

_I hate her._

My whole world stopped. One sentence said it all. I gasped and staggered backwards. His wold body was tensed and he gripped the edge of the table with his left hand, the only thing that was missing was a sneer on his calm face.

I might not be very good at reading people but I knew what he was thinking.

I felt numb. I could not believe what I was hearing. He couldn't be serious. He couldn't truly hate me. I felt tears well up in the back of my eyes for the second time in one day- both due to Edward. I had not done anything. I didn't understand. I didn't need to understand. All I could hear was the roaring in my ears. I tried to ignore the class around me who were staring at me. All my focus was on Edward. Entirely.

I had two options, I could continue walking towards my seat and sit next to Edward. I could act like everything was perfect. I could pretend that I wasn't hurting. I could pretend, like I have been for my entire life, trying to hide myself. Trying to hide what I could do.

Instantly I knew that I could not.

My entire life I had built up an image of Edward. I wasn't afraid of him, but I was embarrassed at my own foolishness. I had fallen for him. Plain and simple. Over the years of observing hm, I had formed an attachment which I wasn't aware of. Until I moved to Forks. Until he catch me in the yard. Until I realised that he was real.

I knew all the tell tale signs, I have read enough Jane Austen books to figure that one out. Yet now I was questioning myself, I didn't know him. How could I like someone who I barley even knew?

I had hoped for a friendship. A hope which was misplaced.

I knew that there was no possibility of that ever happening. He hated me.

You hate me?" I choked out.

Edward started with surprise. As he turned to look at me, really look at me. I meet his eyes for an instant before the intensity forced me to look away. His eyes were full of wonder, curiosity and even... fear? His eyes bore into me, even now I had looked away. I knew that if I looked up he would still be tensed.

_What...? A coincidence. How could she know..._

I gasped and covered my mouth. I had said it out loud. I must be deranged I can't even control my mouth. I had given myself away. He couldn't know, no one could know.

I turned and walked quickly back up the aisle as fast as my feet could take me, not looking back. I heard a murmmer of curious voices, my classmates. I didn't want to imagine what Edwards face looked like. I didn't want to think about how stupid I must look. I defiantly didn't want to skip class on the first day. A big no no. But I couldn't stay here.

"I-I feel sick," I whispered to my teacher when I reached him.

He looked down at my sceptical as he motioned towards the door giving me permission to leave.

"Go to the Sick Room," he said, his voice gruff and emotionless. Glad to know that my teachers cared for my well being.

"Bella!" I heard Mike call out behind me "Do you want me to help?"

I pretended not to hear him. Mike might mean well, but I need to be alone. And more importantly I couldn't let Edward see me cry.

I stepped out of the classroom and quickly walked away before anyone could follow me. I raised my speed from a walk to a jog and a jog to a sprint.

I raced through the hallway trying to ignore everything which bombarded my mind. I refused to listen to Edwards thoughts. I had to get out of that classroom. Away from Edward. I ran blindly down the hallways trying to push past people who were obviously running late to class, as I headed towards the girls toilets. I thought I heard a girl call my name but I was too far gone to even care. I managed to navigate my way to the toilet where I promptly opened a cubical and locked it behind me.

I sat on the toilet seat and quickly pulled my head between my knees and breathed in and out trying to remain conscious. I felt hot tears streaming down my face as I repressed a sob.

Why wouldn't it stop? I just wanted it to stop.

I clenched my teeth together as I thought of the hopelessness of my situation. I couldn't have any help from anyone. I didn't have any friends, I couldn't tell Renee or Charlie and I defiantly didn't want to tell Edward. I was alone.

Renee and Charlie wouldn't tell anyone what they had guessed. What would they say? My daughter hears and dreams of a boy in her head. Schizophrenia much? I would be locked away, they would think I as insane, and when medication didn't fix my problem, they would lock me away in a straight jacket for life. I never considered my 'gift' a curse before. I thought that it ment that I was special. That I was different. Up until now I didn't even consider what people would do if they found out. It had crossed my mind that they might think that I was insane, slightly strange. But I never really thought about the consequences.

It was at that point when I decided that I would have to deal with this alone, I could not tell anyone.

I promised myself at that instant, that it would be a secret that I would not share. Ever.

I started crying in earnest, I had never felt or been so alone in the world. Tears streamed down my cheeks and fell into my cupped hands which I brought up to my head to bury my face in. I knew I was sobbing, my shoulders shaking. I heard the bell ring signaling the end of lessons but I ignored it, too wrapped up in my sorrow and fear. I felt myself shake and quiver. I couldn't think, I knew that I needed too. But my mind would not focus on a thought, as if rejecting the idea.

A sudden soft knock on the door woke me from my trance of self pity.

"Bella?" called a high pitched sweet voice. I voice which I could not forget. A voice which I remembered from my thoughts, dreams and my reality.

I sat shocked, mouth open staring at the door. It couldn't be.

"Bella?" the voice called again this time sounding more anxious "Are you in there?"

Her voice was heavenly and angelic, just like the face paired with it. I reached out a shaking had turned the lock on the door. I peeped out from my hiding place.

There in front of me stood Alice Cullen.

I was suddenly aware how horrible I must have looked. Luckily for me I didn't have to worry about my makeup running- seeing as I am not wearing any. But unlike a beautiful girl like Alice, I like most normal girls look horrible once I have started crying. I knew my face must have been a blotchy red and I was sure my cheeks were tear stained.

She stood like an angel, a small angel I had to admit. She wasn' beautiful like her blonde haired sister, but she was still stunning. Her spiky hair revealed her quirky nature- something that I could relate to- and her open face was easy to read. She had delicate features and looked fragile, she really was small.

Alice stared at me for an instant before her face changed to harbor a look of sincere sympathy. And under that... Anger?

"Bella, I'm not sure if you know me, but I'm Alice,"

I stared up at her dumbly unable to form coherent sentences.

_Alice is at work once again. I told her not too... That's Alice for you._

I started in shock at hearing his voice. It didn't hurt as much as it should, I guess I was still numb. Its not everyday that people decide hate you, and really hate you. Alice's face became drawn again.

"I saw you running down the hallway, you look horrible!" Blunt yes, but I think I needed it.

I managed to grin shakily; she was the only one who in the sea of people who had bothered to check on me. I felt a more genuine smile cover my face as she smiled back, pulling to my feet with one quick, fluid movement. I was surprised by her strength; she was four foot nothing and yet had pulled me up as easily as I was made of paper.

"T-Thanks Alice," I said my voice still shaky. I don't like showing emotion in front of people.

Her face turned hard for an instant before she whispered.

"Don't mind Edward."

I resisted the urge to gasp as I stared at her. How- How did she know? She didn't continue though her face gave away that she wanted to say more. I didn't press her. If she didn't want to tell me, it was her business. But that did not quell the feeling of unease which had settled in my gut. It was also as if she were ashamed of Edwards reaction to me. He might have talked to her...

_I really let them all down. I need to leave._

Alice's eyes turned blank for an instant as she stared at something over my shoulder before saying, almost to herself,

"He's leaving for a while anyway..." I didn't need to ask who 'He' was.

I felt slightly grateful, yet disappointed, and I exhaled.

Alice's face turned instantly back to a cheerfully-sympathetic mask as she grinned at me (Strange, but possible) promptly cleaned me up with a few wipes of a tissue which she had produced from her bag. She stood with me silently as I reined in my emotion, not once asking what was wrong- I had the inkling that she somehow already knew. She talked about everything but that.

She talked about the latest fashions in Paris and her latest purchase, it didn't take me long to figure out that she was a shopaholic. I knew that she was going overboard to try and distract me. I liked Alice, she was refreshing and funny. She waved hands trying to describe a new Pradabag which she recently had brought. It was like we had been friends for years. SHe made me feel accepted while she talked, and talked and talked. I never knew that there were so many varities of handbags in the world. Or the science involved in making them. Well, you learn something everyday.

I smiled and wiped under my eyes once more, Alice might have been talking nonsense to distract me but it was working.

"You ready now?" Alice said her voice flowing.

I breathed in and smiled.

"Yeah let's go,"

Alice promptly grabbed my hand and I pulled my bag back onto my shoulder from where I had chucked in on the floor. We exited the bathroom to an empty school. I glanced around and realised how late it really was. We walked in a comfortable silence; a look off wonder was plaster on her features.

"Alice," I asked tentatively.

"Yes Bella," She said looking attentively at me.

I almost told her. I don't know what possess me to, but I almost told her. I almost told her about my dreams, and Edward's thoughts. I almost revealed everything. I couldn't believe what I was thinking. Hadn't I just agreed that I would never tell anyone? That I would never be classed as crazy. I promised that I would never, ever tell anyone. Yet I almost did. I wanted to trust her. But I had only known her for a bare instant, even if _I_knew her through my visions and Edwards thoughts over the years, it didn't change that Alice had only just met me. I swallowed hard and clenched me teeth. That's what I get for being so comfortable around people. I wasn't used to it.

"Thanks," I strangled out, avoiding possible disaster "Thanks for this afternoon."

"What are friends for?" she almost sung back, like from a corny musical. I grinned at her suddenly overwhelmed with emotions. I had a friend in this crazy world. Or at least someone who _said _they were my friend.

We walked outside in no time and we started across the car park searching for my car which was in the other corner. There was only one other car in the car park, the silver Volvo. I should have known that it would have belonged to them. At a second thought just looking at the Cullen's they obviously had a lot of money. They all dressed in designer clothes and, if their cars were anything to go by, I was willing to bet that Dr. Cullen earnt quite a lot of money. I felt Alice gracefully follow me at my side.

Suddenly I remembered I had forgotten, with everything that had happened, to hand in my slip which all the teachers had signed. I quickly looked up at Alice and found that she was already staring at me.

"I have to hand in my slip," I said feebly.

Alice's eyes flared and her sweet face turned instantly dark- much to my confusion, "I don't think that would be the best idea Bella,"

"I will be one second Alice, you don't have to wait" I said backing up searching in my open bag trying to locate the piece of paper "Thanks for today"

It was really important that I handed this form in, I couldn't get in trouble on my first day, lots of teachers held grudges. i was already in trouble for rushing out of Biology and who's knows how much work I would have to make up the next lesson.

"Bella!" Alcie called from behind me but I turned quickly and headed towards the office. I wanted to get in and out of there as fast as possible; those clouds above me looked like they could explode at any second. I would be only a minute.

"Bella!" I heard Alice call out from behind me again. I chose to ignore her pleading tone, I was just going to hand in my slip.

What could possibly go wrong?

* * *

**A/N:**Sorry, took a little longer than I expected, but this is a longer chapter to make up for that, in fact that longest so far. I have quite a few assignments but I will try and update relatively soon. Thanks for your amazing reviews! Over 50, yay! And thanks to everyone who favourited and subscribed. It makes me all happy when I see I have new messages in my inbox. Final big thanks to **FireElfglitter **who threatened me on myspace to update- scary. And **Beverley-Cullen **who is reading this even though she is French! That is pretty impressive.

I also have to say, I almost cried when I found out about Midnight Sun.

Up Next: Office, pictures and **Jacob** (Maybe, if it fits in with whats going on.)

Review.


	7. What goes Bump at Twilight

**Edited: 19/9**

Disclaimer: I think Stephanie Meyer Owns. At least I am pretty sure, but you can never know these days.

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Chapter Six: What goes bump at twilight

_You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray  
And I stood there loving you and wished them all away  
And you come away with a great little story  
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you  
But I've never been anywhere cold as you._

* * *

I had jinxed it.

Why didn't I realise. In every horror movie, drama, comedy or romance this one line is used, just before the enviable disaster. Just before she catches her boy friend cheating, before she gets a pie in the face, just before someone she loves leaves her.

"What could possible go wrong?" Let me see. Just about everything!

Perhaps I was being a tad melodramatic, but honestly. I think I need a brain transplant.

I paced quickly away from Alice ignoring the tight sensation in my stomach, as if it was warning me. Trying to sway me, turn me away from the path I was taking. But it was too late. I had not paid attention and certainly not cared.

I paced away from Alice and nearer to the small overcrowded office. I breathed in and disregarded the warning clench of my stomach, the heat which I felt on my cheeks and the nagging sensation in the back of my mind, trying desperately to drag me away from an unknown danger.

I smiled as I thought of Alice; I had a friend in this crazy world. Someone who actually cared that I cried someone who talked about clothes but was doing so to be kind. I had never had a close friend. I wondered if I was to be friends with Alice, what that would entail. It was almost certain that I would be seeing a lot more of Edward that was for certain.

I was getting ahead of myself, Alice had only been nice. It's not like we were 'Best friends forever'. But it was a good feeling to know that at least someone cared.

Before I knew it I was at the office, I heaved the door open staring at the carpet as I entered. Not the brightest idea. I managed to miss a step in the middle of the doorway which I managed to catch my foot on. I soon found myself tipping off balance.

_Act on instinct._

I felt a pair of cool arms softly wrap around me and saved me from hitting the floor. I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach as I guessed who had saved me from a nasty fall.

_Saved her... Am I insane? What was I thinking?_

The ironic thing was I could answer his rhetorical question.

There was no doubt of the identity of my savior.

Edward quickly let go of my arms as I felt he cool skin touch my own warm skin. His skin was unnaturally cold and I felt a spark. Not that I had ever been struck by lightning but I imagined it would have to same effect. Every surface which our skin touched felt as if it were burning. I flinched as my skin tingled. I withdrew quickly and stared at his chest trying to gather up enough courage to thank him. His woolen top stretched across his chest, he was more muscular that I had first thought, but I am sure that most men looked small compared to his burly brother. His milk white hands, now not touching me, were clenched at his side

_She's so warm, so alive. She flinched away... Dangerous to be here._

I desperately tried to listen to his thoughts, try to pick up any trace other than the quickly spoken whispers. I clenched my teeth. It was although I was in a room full of young girls who had just brought a mobile phone. There were too many voices, too many conversations for one mind to follow. The thoughts seemed to be fast. I didn't know if this were regular or weather the brain processed thoughts a lot faster than I anticipated. What ever it was, many of his thoughts simply flickered out of my grasp moving at such a pace I could not begin to make them out.

I guessed that I heard his primary thoughts, the brain was very complex. I could not even begin to hope that I could hear everything he thought. I guessed I picked up his main, primary thoughts.

I lifted my eyes but I found that he was staring directly into my own. I felt a deep intensity within them which I had never felt before. I felt as if my whole soul was on show. I felt my own heart beat speed up and I felt my cheeks burn. But yet I refused to be the first to look away. He had intimidated me all day, scared me all day, he had even made me cry, yet I felt drawn to him, I felt like I needed to know him. Needed to be close to him.

_She doesn't look afraid..._

He suddenly looked down and quickly tensed as the door opened blowing wind from behind me and into his face. Why was he in the office anyway?

_Control. Leave right now. I have to find Alice._

Without another word he swept past me hurriedly, his movements a fluid and smooth as water, he noiselessly left the room and left me wondering if I had imagined the whole thing. I quickly handed my signed note to the teacher behind the teacher on duty who looked at me strangely.

In a daze I turned and headed back out the door. My car was the last in the car park and I was sure that Alice had left with Edward. I turned my key in the ignition, my hands still shaking from my encounter.

I reversed and tried to calm my frayed nerved as I drove back to my house. To calm myself I drove aimlessly for what seemed like hours, mulling over everything I knew and had discovered about Edward. Which in the end wasn't an awful lot. I sighed, my head felt heavy and I was tired. I finally headed back to Charlie's' place. I turned up the drive way and got out of my car. I was determined not to think of Edward again! I was determined to make sure that he didn't dominate my thoughts. I hadn't even talked to him. I was pathetic. I cut the cars engine and quickly stepped out of the car, heading around the bonnet whistling to myself.

I looked up and was instantly surprised. I stood staring at a boy standing near my door.

I stepped closer and examined him, a flicker of suspicion flickering in my stomach. He had dark skin and an equally dark ponytail of hair. He had handsome features but his face had not yet lost the roundness of his youth. He stood around the same height as me and he looked to be about 15 or 16. He had a childish grin of glee on his face and a mischievous flicker in his eyes.

As I stared at him his face lit up and he flicked a pair of keys around his fingers. He obviously knew me, but I had no clue who he was or could be. I scanned my memories trying to put a name to the unknown face.

Still hesitant to move towards him, who wouldn't be after such a fantastic day I was having? I stepped fore ward and smiled.

I was saved the task of starting the conversation when he hooked a hand through his pocket and stepped towards me.

"Hey Bella, I don't know if you remember me, I was the annoying little tag along when we were younger," he had a deep voice for his age and a husky under tone weaved into his words.

I struggled for a response, I was still extremely confused. Under that confusing, guilt started the creep into my mind. I should know him, but I didn't. I mean, he knew me, he knew my name, he knew to call me Bella and yet I still had no idea who he was.

His open face frowned as he saw the blank stare i was giving him. I didn't like that frown; it made his look older, wiser, and sadder somehow.

"Jacob, Jacob Black," he said, doing a poor impression of James Bond. I couldn't help but smile at his goofy nature and the young, naive spark in his eyes.

Suddenly it clicked. Jacob Black. Billy Black, from my childhood memories. He was Billy's son.

I remembered the countless summers, endless summers which I had spent trapped in Forks. Rachael and** Rebecca **were the only people who helped too sooth that boredom. I tried to remember back and I recalled a young boy who followed us around, running after the trio of friends, climbing after us and scrambling to keep up with his sisters and friends.

I barley remembered him, but at least I had some idea of who he was.

I beamed widely at him and he blinked back at me, his eyes glazing over.

"Hey, sorry I have had a hard day, I didn't recognise you for an instant" Understatement and lie.

"Oh, yeah" he said looking uncomfortable "Your Dad said that you were starting school today,"

I was glad that as always, I was the centre of this pathetic town's gossip ring.

"C-Charlie asked if I would keep an eye on you for a little while until he got home... He said you had been having medical problems..." he trailed off shrugging and looking uncomfortable.

How much of my personal information had been divulged to Jacob and his family? How much had Charlie been telling them? I wondered what they must think of me. I felt my anger simmer inside me as I turned to Jacob a sarcastic remark lined up, ready to rebuke him.

I took once glance into his trusting, caring eyes and my anger melted. He was only trying to help me; he was only trying to be a good friend. I felt the anger twist into guilt as I thought of how long he must have been waiting for me. I composed myself and turned to put the keys in the lock.

"Thanks Jacob, have you had dinner yet?" I smiled warmly at him over my shoulder.

Before he had enough time to formulate an answer his stomach growled loudly giving him away. He looked away grinning sheepishly.

"I guess that is a no then," I said pushing the door hard to get it unstuck "So, how are your sisters?"

He followed me into the kitchen. After five minutes of disjointed and awkward conversation, he began to shed his embarrassment and shy nature. He kept me entertained all throughout the dinner. Apparently Charlie and Billy, his father, went fishing quiet often. I felt guilty not knowing such small details about my own father.

An hour later I found myself sitting on the couch my legs pulled underneath me. Jacob lay sprawled between me and the television which gently hummed in the back ground. Our dinners were placed precariously on our laps.

"Star trek or Hannah Montana?" I questioned, twilling my fork in the pasta.

Jacob's face twisted into a mask of mock-horror.

"You couldn't have picked an easier one!" Jacob said, repressing a grin which was threatening to wipe out his horrified expression. He rose a hand in the universal 'I come in peace' alien sign "You're looking at the number one fan,"

I stifled a giggle. Jacob reminded me of a little brother. If I had a little brother I would want Jacob. He was funny and sometimes even serious. Once his shyness was gone, it revealed a cheeky, perky personality. I had laughed more tonight than I had for a long time.

I kicked my leg out resting it on his shoulder before he rolled away from me chuckling. I could talk to Jacob so easily, he drew my true personality out and I felt comfortable in his presence. I felt like I had known him for years instead of the short time which i had spent with him this afternoon. I could not begin to understand why he was here. Jake must have had so many other things he had wanted to do. Work on his car- which he had previously informed me off with much enthusiasm- or hang out with his friends from school. Instead he was stuck babysitting a girl 2 years older than him who obviously was deranged. As much as I liked his presence, I had to admit. He wasn't Edward.

Edward.

Stop.

No.

"How's the car?" Jacob suddenly asked.

"Huh?" I said as I was pulled from my trance of thought.

"The car? Do you like it? It used to be Billy's, but I fixed it up and sold it to Charlie..." Jacob said blushing "After his accident, he couldn't drive,"

Trying to steer the conversation away from the dangerous territory I knew it was headed I asked the first thing that came into my head.

"Jake, you fixed the car?"

He grimaced before nodding.

"I have to admit," he said slowly "It was a dump before I fixed it up, you probably wouldn't be able to get the thing started without my help. Does it run alright?"

He had a concerned look on his face, as if he were a small child again looking for praise from his teacher. I smiled at him before nudging him with the toe of my shoe.

"Of course, you didn't try it?" I asked confused.

He waved is hand in front of my face mockingly "Too young," he said slowly as if I were mentally incapable.

"I am deeply sorry, for a minute your overwhelming manliness made me forget your true age" I rolled my eyes as he poked his tongue in my general direction. I hesitated for an instant before asking "You want to try it out?"

A look of what I could only describe as excitement crossed Jacobs face, but he tried to rein in his obvious joy and coolly said "As long as we don't go over 60 miles"

"What..."

"Don't even try it Bella," He said "I somehow think that a Grandfather like him won't be able to make it at that speed,"

"He's not and Grandfather, _she _is a _Grandmother_! Respect your elder's young fool!"

Jake grinned and shook his head before pushing himself up off the floor and stretched a hand out towards me. Instead of grabbing it like he had intended I put my empty bowl into his hand. He scowled as I laughed and pushed myself up off the sofa. I bounded in the hall way and avoided the rug which was sure to tip me off balance.

It was still only 6 o'clock and the sun had finally penetrated the clouds and was now shining through the windows. I smiled as it reminded me of Phoenix. I remembered that I would have to call Renee tonight and give her a blow by blow account of my day.

I got to school.

I was threatened.

I cried.

I made friends with an overenthusiastic boy.

Was threatened some more.

Cried some more.

Oh you know, the normal typical day in high school Mum, just normal.

_So school for us tomorrow. Sunny sky's forecasted by my in-home weather reporter Alice. Luckily I am leaving._

I breathed in and out, Edwards's voice was fainter. Maybe it had to do with distance. I didn't have too much time to fall into the Whirlpool of thoughts and questions in my mind concerning Edward. Jacob bounded down the hallway towards me his face in pure joy; he flew out of the door before I could say another word. Some people just have a strange fixation with cars, and I was guessing that Jacob was defiantly one of these people. I locked up the house- even though in Forks I was sure I was the only one is this strange town to do so.

I stumbled towards the car as I caught my toe on a nonexistent barrier which was determined to make me appear clumsy, who was I kidding. I was clumsy.

By the time I had righted myself my cheeks were burning and I managed to open my car door before another catastrophe struck. I hopped into my seat before I lent over to open the door for Jake.

I started as I realised that he was already seated in the passenger seat. I looked at him in shock before he grinned.

"The lock on this door doesn't work,"

I blinked at him; of course he would know that, he had fixed it up after all. I frowned and

"What if it gets stolen?" I asked slightly concerned.

"Bella, please enlighten me on who would be willing to steal a 60 year old car?"

"You do have a point,"

"While we are here, would you like a ride home?"

"I guess," he shrugged. Obviously he had gotten a lift to my house from someone. I was sure that he didn't want to walk all the way beck to La Push. It was only a ten minute drive; I would have him home in an instant.

I started the car and drove out of my drive way. Jacob was busy examining the steering and the sounds which the engine was making with an obvious intensity. It was as if he could understand the language of the machine. He was listening to small changed which would tell him if it was running perfectly. To be honest, I had no clue about cars. I didn't care, as long as they would take me from one place to another without breaking down, I was happy.

We headed out of Forks and got onto the only road to La Push.

"Careful of the speed Bella," Jacob warned as the speedometer started to edge upwards "I'm just saying that Charlie is actually Chief Swan, if you get my meaning,"

I gave him a sarcastic look I hoped said 'I know that you care, but I am choosing not to listen to you at this moment'. I pro ceded to ignore him but I eased my foot off the pedal slightly. I concentrated on the road; suddenly a light from my peripheral vision distracted me. I looked to the side at the woods. I looked harder my eyes straining. The trees were plain and the only light came from the sun which was low over the woods.

"Bella, I don't have my driver's license yet, but I am pretty sure that you should be looking at the road,"

I ignored Jake and continued looking. I swear I had seen something. Something shining. I couldn't be sure, but I had never doubted my own mind. I gasped as I thought I saw the light again in the woods. I strained my eyes forgetting my surrounding. Forgetting that I was in control of a car, forgetting Jacobs steady tugging on my sleeve and forgetting to breathe. Something was in those woods bursting with light reminiscent of a small sun.

Suddenly the car swerved and I screamed. Jake shouted out a warning before I realised that we were heading off the road. The road was thin and lined with trees and I had been distracted for an instant. The wheels hit the bushes on the side of the road before I tried to put the breaks on. I was going too fast. At 60 miles I couldn't stop the car. I couldn't make it stop in time. I screamed again as a tree in front of the car loomed closer. Jake and I were going to hit that tree and die.

I closed my eyes and prepared for the impact.

There was a sudden deafening crash. The car jerked to a halt and I was jolted fore wards in my seat. I felt my neck whip fore wards and the ancient seat belt- thankfully- held me in pace restraining my body making sure I didn't fly through the windshield. If this wasn't enough proof that I was a bad luck magnet, I didn't know what would be.

_Dammit it Rose._ Edward whispered in my head. I snapped my eyes open and was faced by a quite confronting scene before me.

A beautiful blond teen stood in front of my car, staring up at me in shock. I was sure that my face mirrored her own. She was inhumanly beautiful; her long blond hair fell around her light shoulders. She had vivid amber eyes and her skin was pale and flawless. She was Edward's sister! The blond, cold beauty sat at the table with Alice and Edward.

But that wasn't what I was staring at. In fact at that moment that was the last thing that I cared about. I couldn't care less about her family.

I wasn't even staring at her waist, which my car had carefully bent around as if she were made of stone. The bonnet of the car was in ruins as it curved around her waist. Her hands were resting on the bonnet in two large indents she had made (?) as if she had stopped the car herself. As if she had pushed it backward. We were mere meters away from the tree which I had sure me and Jake was going to hit. I almost raised a hand to rub me eyes before I realised that I couldn't. My arm was stuck. Even if I had wanted to, I didn't try to free it or see what was keeping it in place. My eyes refused to leave the blond girl who was still staring at me; she was still as a statue.

This was not what I was staring at. In the pale light of the dying sun, light flickered off her skin. Flickered wouldn't be the right word. It was reflected off her skin. You know when someone has a watch and the light shines on the face of it and reflects off? Imagine that, magnified to all over the body. I stared in shock as her skin rippled with light. It was at this point which I decided, I was officially insane. But yet again, even my mind, as unique as it is, could not even begin to imagine something as terrifyingly beautiful as her. As this.

_She's seen Rose. No._

_She better not move. A moment more. Alice and I will be there._

I felt darkness curl around me.

I was falling unconscious, again. I didn't know if Jake was okay. I didn't know if I had sustained brain damage and if I was imagining the blond haired girl, I didn't know if I was insane. My vision became blurred and my head felt heavy. I resisted feeling an urge that I need to see what would happen. I needed some answers but I fought a losing battle.

The dark finally drew me in.

_Silence, the never ending silence of her mind._

* * *

**A/N: Get it? The vampire was the bump in the twilight? Sorry to Rosalie fans, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to hit Rose with a car.** I just had to it been too tempting. I have to note, there will absolutely no BellaxJacob in this story. Just a friendship people. I have finally finished Bella's first day of school :P. Thanks for every single review! I love ever single one! Is it greedy to ask for more? Yeah, probably, oh well. Perhaps enough to get me to 100? That would be amazing. I can't believe I have gotten such a positive response already! I have to share something with you all: 5 hits from Costa Rica, 5 hits from Norway, 19 hits from Finland, 3 hits from United Arab Emirates and 3 hits from Puerto Rica. Ha, how randomly cool is that?

And has anyone realised how awkward it is to type the name 'Jacob', its all over the keyboard! It's surprisingly hard.  
**19/9:** Just had to make some small adjustments to this chapter, I finished it late and parts didn't make much sense. So it's been re-edited. And credit to 'hiting Rose with a car' goes to my friendly neighborhood (school) book club.

Next: Hospital


	8. I'll Be Your Doctor

Disclaimer: I had to do an oral book report on Stephenie Meyer. It was scary! 'Doctor' by Cute is what we aim for.

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Chapter 7: I'll be your Doctor

_I've got a secret please don't repeat it  
But I'll be your Doctor, I'll be your cure.  
I'll be your Medicine and more.  
Yeah you can rest assured,  
I'm your doctor, I'm your cure.  
I'll be your cure._

* * *

**Carlisle****'s POV.**

It had been an excruciatingly long day. I had lost more patients that usual, each loss it was a blow to my un-beating heart. Some would say that my compassion and empathy was a curse; a weakness. I don't agree. My compassion led me to a caring family, a rewarding job, a beautiful soul mate and a chance to repent for what I became, what I am. It was ironic, if the patients who I saved knew the truth; they would not be so quick to praise me.

They would run in fear.

Although I could have stayed at the hospital all evening, the mangers were insistent that I go home. Of course they would be. To them I was 'human', and all humans need their sleep.

I switched off my laptop, I was eager to get home to my Esme, but not eager enough to forget to keep my movements slow, like I was filled with lead. It was second nature to me, even when handling patients who needed speed and a quick hand; I could not give myself away.

"Carlisle," I heard and urgent whisper.

It was not in the room, I listened harder. Patients turned in their beds, nurses gossiped in a secluded corner and the wheels of a bed being pushed across the emergency ward and the shallow breathing of its occupant. I was drawn to this patient. A girl, I could tell by the short gasps which she made in her semi-coherent state. I smelt the blood from here. The blood was not tempting for me, after many years of control, but she had a strange musk hanging in the air around her. It reminded me of my past years and my time spent in La Push. The same musk coated the forests and its occupants.

My ears pricked at the almost silent footsteps which trailed behind the rolling bed.

Only one person could carry themselves like that.

I quickly as I could, while retaining my masquerade of humanity, I sped out of the door all the thoughts of heading home gone from my mind. What could Edward be doing trailing a human woman? And resisting the way he way, I had never realised he had such control.

I was sure now he had whispered my name in an attempt to inconspicuously get my attention.

I headed down the hall way and into the emergency room.

A flustered young nurse quickly trotted up to me holding a clipboard in one hand which was covered in forms and documents. "Doctor, there has been an accident,"

I nodded quickly "How long ago?" I asked quickening my stride.

She struggled to keep up with my fastened pace and she fell into step behind me.

"About an hour ago, there where two people in the car, from what the ambulance have told us, the car was wrapped around a tree, the entire front bonnet was gone. The car must be completely written-off. The drive is one Isabella Swan, you treated her earlier this week," she continued to leaf through her files. My stride faltered for an instant. It was the same girl. This was the girl that Edward and Alice had been arguing about earlier this morning. "The passenger only sustained minor injuries and is being treated now, but Miss. Swan must have hit her head, she's been unconscious for quite a while..."

I half listened to the nurse continue to talk about Isabella and her previous hospitalizations. There were quite a few. She fell down stairs numerous times, tripped over during sports and had broken more bones than I thought possible. This girl was a danger magnet.

I headed out into the ward on the left, like the nurse had instructed me.

I quickly paced down the hall and into the small room. Like the rest of the hospital the walls were covered in a light green paint and the floors and surfaces were clean and sterilized. In this small town, there was plenty of room in this one hospital; Isabella had a room to herself.

She was lying in a bed in the middle of the room. Several machines and drips where attached to her, preparing for a 'worst case scenario'. She looks pale and thin, and I was sure that the light above her bed only caused her to become more translucent. She had small grazes on her arms and face but none of them where too serious. However, she did have a large bump in the side of her forehead, the cause of her unconsciousness. In those few seconds I took in the entire room and its contents. In the corner of the room stood my first son, Edward. The second thing I noticed was the smell.

The smell of the girl's blood filled the entire room, for me it was a pleasing smell, but I had trained myself years ago to be almost immune from human bloods smell and taste. And yet this blood was ever s slightly tempting to me. I couldn't imagine what it was doing for Edward.

It seemed inappropriate to smile at this point but I tilted my head towards him as a greeting.

"Why are you here?" I said rather bluntly, but not unkindly.

"I helped the ambulance drivers free Bella and another boy from the car wreck," I looked at him quizzically and he continued "Alice saw the crash in her dreams, they veered of the road and hit... something, and we were heading over to the scene as fast as possible when the car crashed. I made sure that the ambulance got there on time and I hitched a ride up to the hospital,"

"Where has Alice gone?"

"She went back to the family to fill them in; she said I should be here, to talk to you." I nodded thoughtfully.

It wasn't like Edward and Alice to interfere with human lines, they knew that mortals died easily and we didn't interfere. Edward smiled without humor, reading my thoughts.

"They were heading off the road, and Rose saved them,"

She saved them? Rosalie? Saved a human?

Edward nodded and looked just as baffled as I felt, "Its," he hesitated "Slightly out of character for Rosalie," I resisted the urge to laugh as I tried to remain diplomatic as Edward continued. "I don't understand it either. I don't even understand what she was doing out there, especially on a day like today. It's the sunniest day of the year!"

"What happened?"

"She ran and stood in front of the car" he shook is head is amazement "She stopped them from running into a tree, Carlisle she would have died if it wasn't for her."

Uh oh. Normal girls don't stop cars. I could see it now, Rosalie standing there with the car crumpled around her form, the human girl staring at her in fear and shock and then there was a little issue of the sun... Hopefully the girl was unconscious already had her eyes closed when they hit Rose. Did the girl see anything? I asked with my mind, knowing full well that Edward could hear.

"Rosalie said Bella didn't but her mind told a completely different story. Thought the boy who was travelling with her defiantly didn't, Alice helped me arrange the bonnet around the tree before they police and paramedics reached the scene. Alice does have a very… prominent artistic flare." Edward chuckled without humor, the strain and stress of the situation betraying him as it played across his forever youthful features.

"She saw Rosalie?!" I choked out.

Edward slowly nodded "I think so but it is hard to know... her mind..." he trailed off looking shame-faced.

I waited patiently.

"I can't hear her!" he blurted out "I don't know why or how. I don't even know if that is physically possible. There is just silence where her mind is. You can't begin to imagine how frustrating it is not knowing what she is thinking, especially when she is so unpredictable!"

Edward ran a hand through his tousled hair and I stood still, not having to act human. Well that was an interesting development. He now had no way of knowing weather or not she would reveal our secret. This posed a very difficult situation. I knew what some of the family would think. They would want to eliminate the risk. The cause. An idea which I opposed thoroughly. Others would want to ignore it, act like it never happened.

Edward had a right to be worried, I right to be upset. I had never known anyone that could keep Edward out. We didn't know who she was inside or how she thought. This accident could start a chain of events which would cause the family to vacate Forks. We all liked Forks. We could walk around the town and go to work and school almost every day. It made us feel normal. When children grew up around us, people socialized and laughed without a care, it reminded us of our humanity. I think our family needed that. Although we can never be normal, it was good for everyone to have at least a sense of normality to our not so normal lives.

"Where is Rosalie now?" I asked out loud.

Edward shook his head, "She left in a hurry, I don't think she wanted to explain just yet," he frowned "She kept on reciting car parts over and over in her mind; I don't think she was ready to talk about her 'daring save' yet. Heaven forbid, she's afraid that we might realise that she actually has emotions,"

"Or she is hiding something from you," I said once again thinking out loud, I took careful note of the bitterness in Edwards voice. I knew my family only too well. No one could keep Edward out, so they each had there own method to keep there own secrets.

Edward looked angry for an instant. I examined the tension which radiated from his body. "Her blood," I said softly.

He nodded slowly "I feel so weak, she is breaking my resolve. It sings to me Carlisle. My throat burns all the time with such a fire which is unquenchable,"

"You can go..."

"No," Edward said quickly "I am fine"

A scuffling sounded from outside the door interrupted us. Edward quickly stepped backwards, in a movement too fast for human eyes, to stand in the corner of the room. I stayed by Bella's bed. I heard a brief argument before a nurse let a young man into the room.

A boyfriend perhaps? Edward's eyes flicked between me, Bella and the boy his body tensing.

Defiantly not, he was too young for her. Edward visible relaxed as the dark skinned boy ran over to her bed, clearly too flustered and distraught to notice either of us. He was smeared in dirt and he had a row of stitches across one side of his face. He had obviously been the passenger in the car.

Edward watched from a corner as the dark haired boy looked distraught. He was only young and looked close to tears. I grabbed Bella's hand and patted the back.

"I'm so sorry Bella," he whispered.

Edward watched on as I stood, silently by the bed observing the youth, I felt slightly awkward and obtrusive as I watched the distraught boy. As a Doctor I felt as if I was violating his trust. I would have to alert him to my presence sooner rather than later.

A slight breeze from under the door, gently stirred and air and I felt I knew immediately where the musky smell had come from. I had mistaken quite. It was not musky. It was the smell of La Push, the smell of werewolves. This youth of course was not a werewolf. His scent was far too soft, it was diluted. He had been around werewolves, he wasn't one of them.

Yet. This could pose some interesting problems, gauging by the way Edward was staring at the motionless girl.

The youth had dark skin, showing his heritage and his long hair was pulled into a short pony tail behind his head.

Edward looked coldly at the youth as he read my thoughts and relised his origin. I heard Edward emit a low growl, too low for a human to hear and certainly too low for the boy to hear. But a growl was a growl. It was time I intervened.

"Excuse me," I said taking a step towards the boy. He looked up at me in surprise, he had been so orientated on the girl that he had not noticed me.

He stared at me. I kept my distance, as physically appealing as I was to humans, I knew that in close proximity I made them extremely uncomfortable.

"I'm Carlisle Cullen, I'm Isabella's doctor." I tried to make my voice soothing as the young boy's eyes widened and filled with a mix of recognition and fear.

Down at La Push, if my guess was correct, they still told there stories about the 'Cold Ones'. I wasn't yet sure if he believed in the old stories, but I was sure that he had enough sense to head his elders warning about me and my family. I left my face blank as Edward stiffened in the corner as he read my thoughts concerning the boy who was now tightly grasping Bella's hand.

He remained silent so I continued.

"Are you a friend?"

He looked hesitant before he answered with a slight shake in his defiant voice.

"Yes, I'm Jacob, Jacob Black. Her father _Chief Sawn _asked me to look after her for this afternoon," he spoke her fathers name like a warning. He was part of the Black family. That would explain a lot.

I nodded "Yes, I have met with her father before when she was ill earlier this week." Edward was still as a statue, but I knew his mind was quickly ticking over. I knew he was there that day, down at her house. Who had thought Emmett could hit a baseball so far? Certainly not Edward. Alice hadn't even seen it coming!

I paused before I continued gently "Do you think that you could contact him? He might take the news better if he hears it from a friend,"

Jacob visibly paled and swallowed. He shouldn't know I was trying to get rid of him; he was far too distressed to realise.

"Are you sure that I-I should call him, he probably won't want to hear from me,"

Edward turned his head slightly and whispered so quick and low that human hears would not be able to pick up the sound "He feels responsible for the crash, Bella was taking him home and Charlie wanted him to look after her. He thinks he should have waited for Charlie to come home before they left..." He trailed off glancing at Jacob who was still oblivious to his presence.

Ah, the advantages of having a son as a mind reader. I frowned, this poor boy felt responsible for something that my family had caused.

I made my tone softer and reassuring "I am sure that he would want to hear from you rather than a nurse,"

I saw Jacob shiver away from me as he nervously tucked the stray hairs away from his face.

"S-Sure" he said after a moment's hesitation.

He quickly stood, his hand still clasped around Bella's. He looked so fragile, he looked like a child. Reluctantly he let go of her but he turned to leave. His eyes suddenly locked onto Edward, who was now casually leaning against the wall. I watched the shock go through his body; I watched the emotions flick over his face. Fear, the immediate reaction people had to my family; confusion, how had he possibly missed another person in the room, and suspicion, he didn't know who Edward was.

His eyes flickered between Bella and Edward. "Who are you?" he demanded.

I saw Edward struggle for an instant before calmly answering.

"I am a friend of Bella's, we have a class together."

Jacob looked at him through narrowed eyes, still suspicious.

"She never mentioned you..."

Edward quickly interrupted "She wouldn't have, we didn't get off... to the best start,"

Jacob instantly looked dark; I could tell he was extremely protective.

"I don't think you should be here," he said in a calm voice, he sounded and seemed years older than he really was in this once instant. I could see the man who he in the future would become.

Edwards's eyes narrowed back at the young boy and his stance shifted to a classic fighting pose, it was almost second nature to him. I could see his mind ticking over the options. It would be too easy to remove the boy, but he wouldn't do it. He was better than that.

Edward blinked and my statement and looked down shamed. I cleared my throat and drew Jacobs's attention to myself.

Gently I continued "We still have to a few tests, contacting Bella's father would be the most useful thing you could possible do for her right now,"

Jacob nodded slowly his eyes flickering between Bella and Edward, his face covered with indecision.

Edward took a step slowly backwards as Jacob finally turned towards the door and heading out.

"I'll be back, Bella," he called from the door.

Edward snorted softly.

We were both still as we listened to Jacobs feet walk down the hallway and into the main foyer.

"How much longer will she be like this?" Edward said gesturing to Bella's still figure. Although he tried to keep the gesture casual I could see the stress and concern deep in his eyes.

"Not too much longer," I said checking the beeping and flashing screens nearby in standard procedures. She was lucky she didn't break any bones. She was very close to an untimely death. I just could not understand why Rosalie had saved a human girl. It was so out of character I had to doubt and question the motives behind her actions.

I glanced up at Edward; I knew how hard it must be for him. Being in the same room as such a temptation and yet he was managing. A feat I doubted that others in my family would be capable of accomplishing. I wondered if he needed to go...

Edward quickly shook his head and breathed him closing his eyes "I sit next to her in class; I have to be able to have some semblance of control. It's alright to do this with you here."

I nodded slowly and looked back down at the unconscious girl. The IV which stuck out of the back of her hand and her hair was fanned out over the pillow. Her chest rose and fell slowly, the only indication that she was alive. For a human she was almost unnaturally pale but in comparison to my own skin she was a bronzed angel.

From what I had heard from both Alice and Edward, there was a lot that I didn't understand. That I could never even hope to understand. Alice and Edward had both been edgy for the last week. Esme and I decided that Alice must have 'seen' something. Alice avoided Edward like the plague, trying to keep something from him. Edward in turn, grew increasingly frustrated. The rest of the family watched on, as the tension mounted. As a peace offering, trying to break the tension in a harmless way in one of the only ways he could think of, Emmett arranged a baseball game. It was perfect. Built up energy was dispelled and the tension began to unwind. However, Edward soon ran after a ball which Emmett had hit a ridiculous length. Emmett was laughing. Esme was happy- she was happy as long as her family was happy. But Alice was tense and Jasper in turn was tensed from her obvious morbid feelings.

In an instant too fast for human eyes to catch, Alice's eyes widened in shock and fear and she quickly sprinted after Edward. All the tension which had been building between them seemed to have exploded when Alice returned home by herself. My family all looked at her questioningly but she just shook her head and refused to speak.

Edward was gone for two days.

He came back, still tense and almost angry. He had been 'hunting'. But I noticed a subtle and definite difference in him. I could see it due to the large amount of time which I spent in the presence of humans. Edward seems gentler, calmer and more resolved- as if tensing before a storm. In the almost hundred years which I had been with Edward I had never seen such a prolific change. When he became a vampire, when I turned him into one- I never thought that I would see his heart and soul melt. He loved Esme and the rest of the family, there was no denying that fact, but he never had been so human and so venerable.

I desperately wanted to talk to Alice and Edward, but they both deserved there own privacy and space. Alice would tell me when the time was right, and Edward would surly confide in me sooner rather than later. However, the secrets where worrying Esme. I couldn't avoid the subject for much longer.

Now however, while I stood near this one human girl, I knew the problem. All the pieces fit. She had started school this morning in the same year as Edward, and if her blood was tempting me, I couldn't imagine what it would be doing to Edward. He had amazing control.

Out of the corner of my eyes Edward slowly made his way closer to the bed, and I, in turn, slowly moved away.

I watched as Edward bent over and gently brushed a stray hair from her cheek, his eyes were ablaze, not in hate or fear. He was controlling his desires and blood-lust to be near this one human girl. He was fighting with himself. I knew that he didn't understand what he was doing. I knew that he must feel concern, anger, and frustration. He after all was a vampire. Untouchable and cold, he would never be able to be anything more than a distant viewer in this young girl's life. His fingers trailed a line down the side of her face as his own softened and a great gentleness wove its way underneath his cold mask. His eyes flickered across her face taking in all of her features.

I knew Edward was at a turning point, even if he didn't realise it himself. He had started on a road which he could no longer escape without pain. He could not turn back; he could not allow himself to continue deeper. Edward withdrew his hand as Isabella, no Bella as-in her induced sleep- leaned into his touch and sighed. He looked confused and almost burnt as he stared at his hand in shock. He had forgotten I was even in the room. All he saw was her.

I almost saw him long stilled heart thaw. He had no idea what he was doing. He had no idea of what he had started as soon as he had followed Bella into this room. He would deny it if the question was asked and he wouldn't know it himself, but if he didn't distance himself from Bella, if he didn't leave her now. I knew that he would start on the cruel and painful road of love.

A vampire and a sensible human. I could see it in his eyes; Edward would fall for her.

Edwards's eyes flickered to me as I spoke his name in my mind, for an instant he was calm as he analyzed my thoughts. Suddenly his eyes widening in shock and fear.

"That's not true, I won't let that happen,"

From what I had seen, I had many objections to that.

Edward shook his head and looked angry. He gritted his teeth and hissed.

"I won't let that happen,"

I strongly doubted it.

* * *

**Bella's POV.**

I had the strangest dream.

Blackness engulfed me. All around me was black. I was alone, my mind was silent refusing to think or concentrate. I felt as though my body was weighed down with lead and iron. I was suspended in time and space. Nothing could touch me, nothing and no one could reach me. I felt surprisingly sad. Then suddenly I felt ice cold marble stretch across my cheek, and trail down my face. It penetrated the darkness. Not only physically but emotionally.

Instead of cold filling my being, I felt a warm, tingling sensation pass through me and I leant into its touch. Electricity pulsed through my veins as the heavy sensation in my limbs lessened.

_Carlisle is wrong, I won't let it happen._

It was an amazing dream. I didn't want to wake.

Alas, all good dreams must come to an end.

I was jolted awake by a warm hand clasping my own.

"Bella?"

I heard faint voices discussing me; I really hated being the centre of attention. I struggled to regain my consciousness as I fumbled with my brain, trying to kick start it back to life.

I flicked my eyes open but found they were heavy. Weighed down with lead. I felt a hand grasp mine tighter as say my name again. I finally managed to open my eyes. I looked at the roof above me and slowly moved my eyes around the room, my mind still blurry and my thoughts not fully formed.

I was in a hospital that much was certain. It was a stock-standard room. Clean, white and full of torturous looking machines. A light was positioned right above my head and the room was painting in a mint green colour, it made me feel sick just looking at it.

As my vision became sharper I observed that I was not alone. On the far side of the room stood Charlie. He was still in his uniform and his guns were still perched in there holders around his waist- a small town obviously didn't have same regulations as the big cities. His face was drawn and he was looking surprisingly old. He was talking to a tall doctor holding a clip board. If my conclusion was correct this would have to be the stunning Doctor Carlisle. Edward and Alice's adopted father. I immediately felt sorry for the nurses who would have to work with him, I was sure that they would find it exceedingly hard to concentrate. He had blonde hair and pale skin identical to his family. He was absolutely flawless. He looked like he was in his early to mid twenties, far too young t be a doctor. They were obviously discussing my health in mysterious undertones.

But most importantly Jacob sat at my side. His hand grasped mine and his eyes locked onto my own reflecting joy. He had scraped along his face and had a row of stitches down one side of his face. But apart from that, there were no broken bones and defiantly no tomb stones. He was alive!

"Jake, I thought you were dead!" I tried to say as I smiled, but it came out as a slurred, incomprehensible sentence.

"You're awake!" He cried "I have been so worried,"

At his statement and my attempt to speak, both Charlie and Carlisle both came over to my bed. Charlie smile broadly "I've been so worried bells. How you feeling?"

Carlisle quickly intercepted "Charlie, I don't think that she can really talk much right now. She does have a mild concussion; she might not remember things clearly or even be self-aware. Personally I would feel more comfortable if she stayed here at the hospital for the night."

As he said this I felt a memory slide out of my grasp. I knew I should remember something. Something important. Something strange. All I knew is that I was driving Jake to La Push and then... And then what? I knew from past experiences- I don't think that many would find it hard to believe that I have made many concussions- that this concussion would pass soon enough but it was beyond frustrating.

"Maybe that is for the best," Charlie said slowly.

"No, I'm fine," I slurred. I didn't want to have to stay in the hospital, I wasn't worth the fuss. I sat up and immediately regretting it. I felt my head wobble as my head exploded in pain. I groan and grasped my head but I felt myself tipping ver. I quickly tumbled as I fell sideways. I felt something hard and cold beneath my back. I looked up at the people who had now formed a circle around me. My legs were still partially on the bed and my back lay against the floor I was wrapped up in the blankets still and the cord of the IV was wrapped around my arm.

I looked up at the faces around me. Jacob looked worried. Charlie looked in between amused and frustrated and Carlisle was trying to keep a grin off his face, but was failing miserably. I sighed again trying to pull myself up at the same time. Once again everyone was watching me. I blushed to the roots of my hair, I felt like an idiot.

"P-Perhaps you are right." I stammered "Maybe I should stay,"

* * *

**A/N: Whoa that was long!** Longest chappie so far for all your patience and wonderful reviews! 100! I can't believe it. Triple digits! I had to do a part from Carlisle's point of view because **no one **ever does it from his! He's so unloved! Don't cry, hold it together. Oh and I couldn't write from Bella's POV when she was unconscious. I also wanted another perspective on Edward's dramatic changes (like you see in Midnight sun). Thumbs up. So hopefully people won't want to hunt me down with pitch forks (This change of POV won't be a recurring fixture in my story, unless you guys like it). Three quick main things, firstly: **NorthernCullen **hails from Norway! She (I assume) is completely my idol. Norway- Wow. **MentalMaddy** I come from Aussie-land too! :). And **BlindWind** had the most amazing review! Thanks so much.  
And finally Bella can't catch everything Edward thinks because of his super human uber-fast brain thinking.  
Please review and tell me what you think.


	9. How did you get my number?

Disclaimer: Happy Christmas and New Years everyone! Oh snap, this is the disclaimer not a Christmas card. Mehh. "Between the Lines" by Sara Bareilles.

* * *

Chapter 8: How did you get my number?

_I thought I thought I was ready to bleed  
That we'd move from the shadows on the wall  
And stand in the center of it all  
Too late two choices to stay or to leave  
Mine was so easy to uncover  
I can't continue pretending to choose  
The opposite sides on which we fall_

* * *

If there was an award for the clumsiest girl. I would win.

I don't know whether it is genetic or not. I personally would like to think it is, at least it would make me feel like less of an idiot. Charlie doesn't seem to have trouble standing straight, but yet again I do sometimes catch him stumbling down stairs. Mum on the other hand, she could tightrope walk blindfolded. I seemed to have inherited it from Charlie.

I have scars on my legs from hurdles in eighth grade gym- you don't even need me to explain this one-; scars from the numerous times I have dropped foreign objects on my toes; and you can't forget the scars which occur when I fall up and down stairs.

Where am I going with this?

I have never been a bad driver. Mum realised from a young age that I could be a serious hazard to myself and as soon as I was old enough to take my driving test Renee invested in some very costly driving lessons. At first I am pretty sure that my driving instructor feared for her own life, but after weeks of her drilling the road rules into my head, I managed to gain enough coordination to brake, accelerate and change gears all at the same time! Charlie being hundreds of miles away had no inkling of this magical gain of abilities. When I moved to Forks I am sure that he was expecting to find me around a tree in a car pretzel.

I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I am a competent driver and I would never crash. So what do I do the first week while trapped in Forks?

I smash up my car.

Not only do I ruin my car, but I caused Jake to have a row of stitches etched onto his face and managed to land myself in the hospital. The last thing I needed was time to myself to think. And think about him. And think about his mutated sister.

I can't help it. Everything reminds me of it. The sickening crunch as I hit against the solid object, like my car had ran into a slab of lead. The blond hair waving, the panicked thoughts from Edward, the deep amber eyes staring at me in shock.

I hit a girl with my unstoppable, metal truck.

I hit _Edward's_ sister with my unstoppable, metal truck.

I had never hit someone before- obviously not because I would have landed myself in jail before I could say manslaughter. As I sat in my hospital bed I tried to remember when I had awoken from my dreams and realised that I had hit Rosalie. I had put on a solid front for Charlie and Dr. Cullen, but my head throbbed and was sure that it would take me days to regain any semblance of balance. I knew that I had a concussion; I have had them so often I can instantly tell.

I spent another few hours in a concussed daze as I felt Dr. Carlisle ask me a series of questions and gently prod my head with his cold fingers looking for more serious injuries.

A young nurse had followed after Dr. Cullen looking _very _dazed, I guess Dr. Cullen would have that effect on a lot of women. She had talked to me as she tried to assess how serious my concussion was. It was at this point when she commented in her whining voice "You were very lucky to survive the crash dear!"

That was when I remebered. The blond hair, the car, the smashing sound and the stunned look across the blond girl's face.

Everything about the Cullen family was strange. From there strange thoughts, to there pale skin and model looks. It was like one nasty pile of crazy pills. And yet as I thought about them. I didn't feel scared. I felt curious and I wanted to know the full story before I judged their family.

Who was I to judge if they were strange?

I hear voices- thats certainly not normal.

But being hit by a car like that... just isn't normal. It is so far from normal it isn't even funny. She should be dead. I should be charged with manslaughter. She shouldn't be peachy.

That night was long and tedious. I had hundreds of thoughts stumbling round in my mind, making it almost impossible to sleep. I had never slept at a hospital before and let me tell you, its not the greatest experience. The next morning Charlie came in baring flowers from Jacob's father Billy and after a quick examination from Dr. Cullen, I was clear to head home.

* * *

Charlie drove me home in silence, he wasn't the 'touchy-feely' type. We entered the door just as the clock in the hall chimed four in the afternoon. I walked up the stairs slowly while my hands tightly gripped the hand rail, preventing me from collapsing or falling back down the stairs. Charlie hovered at the bottom of the stairs, unsure if he should help me or leave me be. I decided to put him out of his misery and indecision.

"I think I am going to have a nap Dad," I had absolutely no intention of doing so.

"Oh," I saw the relieved expression flicker across his face "Sure, I will be in the lounge if you want anything,"

I knew that there was a basketball game on television tonight, which should keep him occupied.

I struggled up the remaining stairs, pushed open my door and collapsed onto my bed. I was so tired that I could barley walk, yet I had been resting all day at the hospital. My mind was racing at a hundred miles per hour and I felt as if the unanswered questions would make my brain explode- not a pretty sight. I knew that there was one more thing that I wanted to do tonight. I still had one more box which I had left unpacked and unopened hidden in the darkness under my bed.

I hurriedly slid off my bed and reached under into the dusty depths below. I finally found what I was looking for and hastily withdrew it.

I had saved this box for opening last- in fact, until this point, I had resolved to never open this box at all-, it held everything I held dearest, and everything that Renee did not want me to bring to Forks. I blew off the layer of dust which had formed.

I stumbled over to my over cluttered desk and grabbed a pair of scissors and began to slice away at the box.

I had unpacked all my other belongings previously, I had stacks of books piled up around my room and my ancient computer was situated in the middle of the desk. I had my small reminders of my child hood, like my teddy bear and nick-knacks which had been given by kind relatives- the kind of presents which you have no idea what to do with, but to be polite you don't throw them away. But all of these things, although they were part of my life, did not represent my true self, and my true thoughts.

It was almost like a facade, my displayed belongings I mean, I obviously wasn't right or normal and sometimes I questioned weather or not I was truly human. I felt the need to hide behind these things, so people would not see that I was different or strange.

Perhaps I wasn't human; but I feel like a human, I love like a human, I need like a human.

Doesn't that make me a human?

These types of questions always hurt my mind, even trying to comprehend. I had no idea where my 'power' had come from, and I had no idea why I have it.

I finally managed to pry the box open; I took a deep breath in and out.

"Bella!" I heard Charlie call from outside my doorway; you are not supposed to disturb someone who has a concussion or who is trying to sleep, at least that's what I thought, I thought my excuse was fool proof.

I quickly shoved the box back under my bed and rearranged the blanket to make sure it was covered.

"Yeah Dad," I said, slurring my words attempting to sound like I had just woken up.

"Sorry Bella but Mike is on the phone for you, he is being very persistent in his need to speak to you,"

Mike? I inwardly groaned.

I pushed myself off the ground and opened my bedroom door. Charlie quickly passed me the phone and walked down the stairs, shooting me a worried look on his way down.

I mentally prepared myself for Mike's onslaught and I raised the phone to my ear.

"Hey Mike," I said with no emotion.

"Hey Bella!" he said enthusiastically "How are you going? Chief Swan said that you had a concussion!"

He sounded like Charlie had told him that he had won the lottery.

"Yeah, I have been at the hospital all last night and today,"

"Man, I wish I could have seen you. I never thought that you would be as clumsy at driving as you are usually..."

"Mike," I cut him off, not bothering to hide my annoyance "Was there something that you wanted?"

"Oh yeah I almost forgot," Bull shit "A group of us are going down to La Push in a few weeks time, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me,"

Jessica was not going to like this.

"Yeah, sure, sure" I said, rubbing my sore head "I would love to go with the _group,_"

"Awesome Bella, do you have any idea when you will be back at school?"

"No idea Mike," I said trying to deter him so I could get back to opening my box.

Alas, my efforts failed and he spent the next fifteen minutes describing all the days' events, from what I had missed in class, to his amazing feats in gym. He was a jock, what can I say.

"Yeah, but something strange happened today with the Cullen's..."

I immediately sat up from my slumped position on my seat in the corner of my room, I started to pay attention.

"...Well I was working in my families shop like normal, you know where that is right? It's directly opposite the hospital, anyway, I happened to spy a very worried looking Edward" he spat the name out like poison "and Alice with Dr. Carlisle. They came out of the hospital and they looked like they were arguing."

He paused for an instant.

"Not really arguing, but you could just tell that there was a lot of tension, although they were not speaking. The little one, Alice, said something and Edward and he completely tensed up. He left them and walked towards the woods. I wondered what he was up to and decided to follow him. After Dr. Cullen and the shrimp" I tensed at his nickname for Alice "left in her car, I left work and followed him. But Bella, I walked into the woods and his foot prints just stopped all of a sudden. Like he had disappeared, I can't explain it any other way. He is one strange boy Bella, best not get tied up with him or any of his family," He knew that I had been talking to Alice and he saw Edward as competition.

"Are you sure that his tracks just stopped?" I asked, shaken.

"Yeah, I am sure. I always knew he was a freak."

Now I was angry.

"Hey Mike?"

"Yeah" he replied eagerly.

"How did you get my number?"

Silence. He was such a stalker.

"My head hurts Mike; I will see you at school..."

"See you later Bella, I will tell you about the arrangements for La Push at school."

Shit, I had agreed to that?

Shit. Shit. I needed sleep.

"Sure, bye,"

I quickly hung up the phone and tossed it across the room and onto my bed. I guess I would never understand the Cullen's, even if Edward was in my head. First his sister, and now Edward.

Maybe they were like me! Maybe they were just different. The thought of that sent my heart soaring, I wasn't alone; it was suddenly grounded by all those thoughts that I had heard _'Kill her'. _Just plain creepy, and yet, it didn't invoke a sense of fear as it did before. Almost like I had resigned myself to this strange behaviour.

I quickly remembered my box.

My head still ached but my body felt far less tired because I was simply over tired- you know when you stay up all night and at 4 in the morning you are still not tired? Well that was me. I jumped onto the floor and then the phone rung.

I snatched the phone up off the bed. What did these people want from me!?!

"Hello?" I answered, barley holding back my annoyance.

"Bella! Oh my god, are you alright? Did they have to stitch you up? Will you have any hideous scars? You have missed out on so much at school!" a familiar whiny voice all but yelled into the phone.

"Hey Jess," I replied holding the phone away from my ear as she continued to rant and rave about school and the plastic surgery I was allegedly going to need to cover up my hideous 'scars' from the accident.

I said the correct things in the correct places, but if you asked me to repeat anything she said I would struggle.

"Are you going to La Push Bella?" she asked once she had exhausted all new gossip.

"Yeah, Mike just called and invited me,"

"Mike called you? How did he get your number?"

"That's exactly what I asked!" I said, slightly exasperated.

Silence.

"He must like you." Jess said in a icy tone; uh oh. Danger zone.

"No way Jess, we are just friends; I don't like him much anyway, hes a bit too... sports orientated,"

"Well I wouldn't care if you did like him anyway, he's not that hot anyway, and his sportiness would compensate for your lack of... coordination," she said with a carefree but with underlying bitchiness in her voice.

I couldn't afford for one of my only friends at school to be annoyed at me.

"He talked about you," a small white lie, he had mentioned her in the re-telling of some of his tales.

"He did?" She gushed.

"Yeah, I really think that he might like you, you should ask him to..." I scoured my mind for the name of the school dance coming up soon.

"Oh, you know what, I think I might just ask him to the dance! Thanks Bella! You are such a good friend!" I was frightened by the sudden mood swing.

Maybe she was bi-polar.

"I really need to get going Jess; I have a concussion and all..."

"Oh right! Sorry Bella," Sounding anything but sorry "Night,"

I hung up and put the phone off the hook. I really was not in the mood for another torturous phone conversation. I had known these people for such a little time, and yet the were calling me at such inappropriate times. Do you see why I found it hard to make friends?

_NO, there is no way that Carlisle would consent to killing an innocent. No matter what she saw, there is no way... No way that she... Alice must be against it..._

Would he stop thinking for five minutes? I didn't even try to decipher what he meant. I was too tired to care if he were thinking about be. God, I could be so self orientated. Of course he wouldn't be thinking about _me _I am sure that he has much better things to worry about. And why do I even care? He hasn't exactly been welcoming.

I hurried back to the box still waiting unopened below my bed. I pushed back the covers and dragged the box out. I sat on the ground, my legs spread apart and the box situated between.

I reached down and fished around in the open box. I pulled out hand fulls of old books- classics. Jane Austen, the depressing Bronte sisters and of course you couldn't forget the classic horror novel- scaring innocent girls for years-, Dracula.

I had packed this box full of my most prized, worn and loved possensions; the possensions which made me. Of course these things all reminded me of my 'dreams' and voices. I finally made my way to the bottom of the box- the deep dark depth of my heart and soul where buried in this box.

I reached in and pulled out a small, wooden box. It was plain and sturdy with a small metal clasp on the front. I breathed in and out and clicked the clasp open with shaking fingers.

I have never claimed to be an artist, I have never claimed to have any artistic talent whatsoever, but as I drew out the contents of the box, I was startled by the skill I had managed to drag up from deep inside me to create this picture.

Inside the box was a single sheet of paper.

As I mentioned before, I spent many afternoons in Phoenix trying to capture the beauty and grace of the unknown teenagers who haunted and fluttered across my dreams and thoughts. But every time I completed a picture, I had realised that it was hopeless. I could not possibly capture there beauty.

I remember the day when I finally achieved the perfect portrait.

I was sitting on my hammock in the backyard, doodling on a pad of paper. I remember it was two weeks before Renee shipped me off to Charlie. I hadn't even been intentionally drawing him- Edward I mean of course. I thought of the way his sharp cheek bones shaped his perfect face. The way that his eyes sparkled when he was repressing laughter. The way that his shapely lips curved into a toe curling smile sending waves of warmth from the tips of my fingers, down to my feet. The way that his chilling smile sent both pleasure and fear into the deepest recesses of my heart.

Unknowingly, my charcoal moved across the page lightly. Shaping the pale cheeks, the sensual lips, the defined nose and the glimmering eyes which made up Edward's face.

I glanced down at the paper and was shocked to discover I had drawn Edwards exact likeness.

His strong cheek bones, his grace, the bored expression in his eyes- almost as though he wasn't truly seeing the world. I had captured his full, perfect lips and the slight highlights in his copper hair.

I became breathless. Never before hadseen his image so vividly. He had never seemed so real- although at the time I brushed him off as a figment of my imagination, how could something so perfect be real? It wasn't just his looks, although they did help, but I was drawn to the glazed stare as he ignored the world. He looked just like a dreamer, and of course who else did I know that was a dreamer? Hmm, let see? Me!

He was a kindred spirit and he was finally there on paper, not just in my mind.

I now stared at the piece of paper in my hands as I raised a trembling hand to stroke the side of his face.

I closed my eyes.

There was surely something that I had to be missing. Someone like him, someone who I knew could not be evil, would not have thoughts about.. well killing.

_'I bet ever murdered girl thought that about other serial killers' _said _my _inner voice.

Even as my mind said this, I dismissed it. I would not accept half the story. Who was I to judge him when I barley knew him? Sure, he had judged me before he knew _me_. But I would make him realise that I was not devil's spawn and maybe, just maybe, he would tell me the truth.

I blew the hair out of my face and frowned. Who was I kidding. He obviously hated me. I should just forget him.

_If I go see her... Yes, I will go she the girl. There is no harm in it..._

He better not be thinking about some other girl who he has decided to murder. Serial killers, so predictable.

I stared at the picture for another instant beforerealised how absurd I was being. Here in my hand, I held a portrait of a guy who I had just met. Well, technically I haven't even been introduced... I flung the picture on the ground and pushed my box back under my bed with my feet.

But still the picture sat there mocking me. I grabbed the nearest book I could get my hands on- which so happened to be on top of a stack on other books. I squeaked -yes, squeaked- as the books cascaded down and spread out along the floor. I put my picture under the book which I had grabbed and stood up.

I sighed, I would pick the books up tomorrow. I stared at the book lying on the ground, covering the evidence of my stalker-ish nature. I had drawn a picture of a guy I had dreamt of and of course, 'met' months later. Great.

And I thought Mike was a stalker.

* * *

I lay in my bed after I had gotten changed into my shorts and t-shirt which I wore to bed and settled down with one of the classic novels which I had removed from the now opened box. After hours of attempting to read, I eventually gave in to the turmoil which filled my mind. I let my book lie open on my chest and folded my hands on my chest. I would not get answers tonight, and I defiantly could not ask anyone about what I had seen. I mulled over what Mike had said to me earlier, I tried to piece the many pieces of the ever growing puzzle together. But I found the more I tried, the more obscene my theories became and the more frightened and nervous I became.

Nothing made sense. Not one damn thing could be rationally explained. Not Edward 'dissapearing', not my crash and defiantly not the voices I heard in my head.

I turned my head slightly, following the path of a moth which was circling the light in the centre of my room. My eyes drifted downward and across the to the window.

In a flash I saw movement outside.

Nothing major, but I knew that something was there.

_Stay still Edward..._

I started at the voice in my head- oh fantastic, he was back. I tried to ignore the velvet voice as I dragged myself back to reality. I quickly threw myself out the bed and half tripped and half ran to the window.

I peered out into the almost pitch black night. I had obviously been 'reading' for longer than I realised because the moon was high in the sky and the stars stretched across the black canvas- beacons of light. The stars were a lot brighter out here than in the city...

Concentrate Bella- the very thing that Renee had once said I was incapable of doing. I cast my eyes downwards and into the trees near the house. I strained my eyes and squinted into the darkness, but nothing moved. I caught a flash of movement out of the corner of my eyes and quickly turned to face the offender.

Out of the shrubs crawled a small squirrel.

Blasted nature. Why were so many creatures living in Forks? In Phoenix, all our wild life consisted of was the occasional mouse, rat or pigeon.

I sighed and rubbed my head, I shouldn't get mad at nature It wasn't the root of all my problems. It was the Cullens. If only I could figure them out, I might be able to figure out my own strange self and mind.

This was the moment. The moment that defined my future, the moment that changed the course of my entire future- not that I had any idea at the time. This was the moment when I decided that I need answers- sooner, rather then later. Tomorrow when I was finally back at school, I would confront whichever Cullen I spotted first. I prayed it was Alice- at least she wasn't having murderous thoughts towards me.

I quick turned back and walked over to my bed. All of a sudden, now that my adrenaline was completely gone, the entire weeks events caught up with my body.

I slumped onto my bed and picked my book back off the bed where I had thrown it down. I rummaged through the book until I found the page I had been up to before I was interrupted by nature- stupid squirrels. I hated losing my page in a good book so I grabbed a book mark and shoved it back onto the floor with the rest of my books.

I tried to keep my eyes open as I felt sleep creeping into the back of my mind.

I stumbled back to bed as I fought my legs, making them walk.

I settled down into my bed and yawned as my eyes drifted closed. The last thing I saw was the small moth floating across my room towards the window. It hit against the pane as it tried, in vein to understand the invisible barrier which was obstructing its path.

Jezz, stupid nature.

* * *

**A/N:**  
**Readers:** Whats this?  
**Captain Libeka:** An Update? -hides face in hands-  
**Readers: **Whats an update? I haven't heard/seen one of these for -counts fingers- 4 months!  
**Captain Libeka: **Holy shit its really been 4 months! I am such a bad author. -le sob-

**Okay** so I feel slightly bad. 4 months?! God I suck. I don't have many excuses its just that I kept on putting of updating and it just never happened. I feel terribly guilty that you guys have all reviewed and I haven't updated for so long! So sorry about that, and thank you for being patient (I hope). I will try (try, being the key word) to have some sort of schedule from now onwards.

Oh and I just thought people should know that we are currently going through a heat wave down in Aussie-land (OH and Happy Australia day for last weekish). The last week has been almost every day at about 43 Degrees Celsius (that's like 113 Fahrenheit, if the Internet convert isn't lying). Its really, really gross. I have felt like shit. And everyone I don't approve of how Bella treats her books in this chapter! I am against book cruelty. Thats means you, go pick those books off your floor! Thanks to **ejamba** for always being there to remind me to update, however annoyed I am (We know CPR and share bed on 45 degree days!). ALSO, my wonderful friend **FireElfglitter** thank you for being a wonderful beta (although this chapter isn't edited by her becuase I was so anxious to publish it for you guys! So please excuse bad punctuation/spelling).  
Hopefully I will update soon. So fingers crossed. Reviews are appreciated and I promise to respond to all reviews posted for this chapter! Because I truly love them all!


	10. I Can't Feel a Thing Without You Around

Disclaimer: Don't own anything but the storyline thingy. '6 Months' by Hey Monday (Best song ever)

* * *

Chapter 10: I Can't Feel a Thing Without You Around

_So please, give me your hands  
So please, give me a lesson on how to steal, steal the heart__  
As fast as you stole mine, as you stole mine  
But I'm okay  
And I can't think of anybody else_

_Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you._

* * *

Edward was... confusing at best.

I did not understand him. I thought normal boys were hard enough to understand. But then again, Edward obviously wasn't normal. I could not even being comprehend what was running through his head; even though I could hear every strange, confusing and random thought in his mind.

Who am I kidding. It's not like he has even talked to me.

It was three weeks since the accident. Enough time for me to fall into a healthy schedule, enough time for me to form stable relationships- I actually made friends; enough time for me to learn names and faces; and enough time for me to become frustrated with the whole Cullen family.

I think at some point I resolved to confront him; well confront his family anyway. Well, confront Alice. Maybe. But I found that over the week my resolve faltered. After the accident Charlie refused to let me go to school for the remainder of the week. Maybe he felt guilty about leaving me with a 'baby sitter' -aka Jacob. As the days progressed I couldn't get anywhere near the Cullens.

Correction, I could not get anywhere near Edward. No, its not becuase he had bodyguards, it was because he was not at school at all! He had disappeared off the face of the planet. Sure I still heard him in my mind, muttering about the weather and sometimes about Rosalie, but it was like when I was in Phoenix... It was distant and faint.

I never saw him at school either, which cemented in my mind that he was at least out of state. It wasn't just him either, Rosalie wasn't at school. Perhaps I had actually done so permanent damage to her when I had rammed her with my sturdy car. I doubted it.

I couldn't keep out the sneaking suspicion that it was my fault. I mean come on, I hit his sister with a fricken car! I doubt that Edward would just waltz up to me and ask about the weather. He hadn't even been introduced to me.

By the next week I had almost given up all hope of seeing him. There was however, a defining moment when I realized how lame I truly was. It was about half way through the week when I sat down at the cafeteria with Jess and Mike.

I automatically looked up towards the Cullen's table. I swear, no one else ever sat there! It was almost as if it were reserved exclusivity for them.

Of course Edward and Rosalie weren't there but it was occupied as always by the rest of his family. Occasionally I would catch Alice staring at me across the cafeteria a look of almost longing and sympathy on her face. It was like she wanted to talk to me, like she was straining and fighting against herself. Or maybe that was just my Edward-deprived mind talking. The rest of the Cullens had been pointed out to me by the Gossip Queen herself, Jessica; there was Jasper and Emmett. Emmett was the bigger of the two with his dark curly hair. Jasper looked like he was smelling something unsavory. _All the time_.

Edward hadn't been there at school all week, I should be glad that although he was in my head, I seen him for days, I mean he was totally rude to me (in his mind that is). But for some reason I felt strangely depressed. It was ridiculous.

But no. I heard nothing about were he was. There were no rumors, no gossip and definitely no answers. Zip. Nadda. Zero.

I guess, for my visual fix, I would have to be content with my dreams.

Yes, I didn't stop dreaming about him (God, did that sound pathetic or what?!).

Don't get me wrong, its not like I missed hearing his voice all the time. No, I would never miss it. I could deal with only hearing it once or twice a day. Someone like me would never sit up at night waiting. No becuase that would be pathetic and lame. I didn't hope for him to appear, in my mind or at school everyday.

Who was a kidding.

I was pathetic. I really did sit in bed waiting. I waited for sleep to take me. This was the only way that I could see him now. Through my dreams. Most of them were fairly plain.

On the first night I saw him on a plane staring out a window. Not moving just staring. His bronze hair had flopped into his eyes and his brow was furrowed in concentration. I wanted to reach over and smooth out those lines. And before I knew it I had woken up. Funn.

It was like I had lost a limb. I was so used to hearing his voice almost all the time, I had become almost reliant on hearing Edwards voice. It let me detach myself from the world and ignore the build up of bullshit in my life. I remember in Phoenix how his voice used to calm me. Now I am not satisfied with just a few sentences a day.

I was sitting down looking at the Cullens when next to me Jess sighed and rolled her eyes at me.

"Bella, he's not here today,"

I whipped my head around shocked.

"W-What?" I stammered.

Mike looked up from his burger and attempted to express his confusion at Jess's words through a mouthful of food.

"Oh you know what I am talking about," Jess her voice laced with fake sweetness "But don't you worry yourself Bella, we have all thought about him at some point or another. But I assure you, that you are nothing to him. I bet he doesn't even know that there is a new student at the school,"

I stared at her shocked. She had never been so... bitchy. I suspected it was a case of sour grapes.

Mike had finally been able to swallow and now probed Jess and I with questions.

"Who were you talking about? Who doesn't know about Bella? Who is nothing? Bella? Jess?" he said sounding like a five year old. Cute but sometimes so, so very annoying.

"Nothing Mike," I muttered under my breath

"Yes Mike, its nothing. And will always be _nothing. _Bella, I see you looking everyday, and I'm not the only one. You better stop it before people start to put two and two together. There is nothing worse than a true rumor. Oh and I better warn you. He tends to have a uncanny knack for knowing things, so you better keeps your paws to yourself,"

I caught the double meaning. She meant Edward- becuase she had once been rejected herself- and Mike becuase he was her prospect boyfriend. I felt like I had been slapped. I have never had many friends, and so I had little experience with girls like Jess. She seemed to be my best friend when I was complying to her 'inner-mind rule book' and then her enemy when I broke those rules!

But what she said really hit home. Jess was right. All I had done was wait for Edward to come back to school. It was pathetic. I haven't even talked to him!

I was obsessing and I should stop. What happens happens and there is nothing I can do about it.

* * *

Edward and Rosalie hadn't been to school for an entire week.

I wonder if she is dead? I wonder if I actually managed to kill Rosalie, and Edward is too grief stricken to attend school! Maybe his mind sends out less messages when he is upset! What if they lay charges! Maybe I should start looking in the deaths section of the newspaper...

* * *

Edward and Rosalie hadn't been to school for two whole weeks.

She must be dead. Its the only explanation. Either that or they have contracted a rare disease that is only curable by skipping school. But he would have thought about it... Who am I kidding, I hear him once a day now! ONCE. How am I supposed to know if he is sick.

* * *

Edward and Rosalie hadn't been to school for a three weeks.

Now this was becoming ridiculous.

* * *

Friday. How do I put it... It was the strangest and best day of school. Ever. Why?

Because I learnt that Edwards voice sounds so much better in real life. So very much better.

For the past three weeks I had been dying of boredom and anticipation. I hadn't heard much in my mind at all and my school was getting more and more repetitive. Charlie had been driving me too school in his police cruiser. Yes, Police cruiser with flashing lights and the works! My good old red truck, which I'd become surprisingly fond of, was almost beyond repair but Jacob had insisted that he fix it for me. He had visited almost everyday in the first week after that accident whether it be to grovel, watch a movie or just to hang out. He was there without fail. But he always had that guilty look in his eyes. No matter how many times I told him it wasn't his fault I crashed, he insisted that it was. It seemed that almost all our conversations ending up with us talking about the crash.

"If you hadn't been driving me home Bella, you would have never crashed your car!" he cried on Tuesday night after watching a particularly girly film which he, of course, had let me choose.

"Jake. It. Was. My. Fault." I punctuated putting my hands on the hips.

"But Bells..."

"But Jacob," I snapped "You are fine, I am fine. No harm done."

"Bella. It was all my fault"

"JAKE,"

"Yes?"

"Are you sure you didn't hit your head?" I joked as I tried to keep my temper in check.

I was rewarded by one of Jacobs warmest smiles.

"Fine Bella, but at least let me fix your car for you,"

My poor car had spent the last few days at the front of my house, a constant reminder of the Cullens. Perfect.

I knew how much Jacob loved his cars. He was already fixing up a few car parts and looked after other cars on the Reservation. I guessed there was no harm in him fixing my car for me... I would pay him of course.

"I am sure that you don't want to pay for a mechanic!" Jake said, after I paused for minute before answering.

"Thanks Jacob, that could be great. But I would pay you." I told him sternly.

"Fine,"

"Fine!"

With that Jacob finally was off my back about the accident. He still visited me and I drove down to the Reservation with Charlie when a game was on TV.

Back to my story, on Friday I was dropped off my Charlie, again. It was fun. Everyone now knew, if they didn't already, that I was the chiefs daughter. Not that that seemed to deter Mike and Eric. Mike still was following me around like a lap dog and Eric was trying his best to be over-helpful. I tried very hard to pretend that I was excited about going down the La Push beach when the weather cleared up, but deep down was not. Its not that don't like beaches... I just don't relish a long car trip squished between Eric, Jess and/or Mike. My only consolation was that I could try and convince Jacob to meet me down there.

I got to school and started the day like normal: boring and easy lessons, dealing with Jess, Mike and Eric and dreading P.E later in the afternoon.

Then out of the blue, without any warning:

_I hope I can stay away._

_I can't stay away she... Bella... I won't talk to her. I will ignore her like I used too._

Edward! He was back! I can sadly say that I could not stop the euphoria which erupted in me as I realized that he here! I know, I am pathetic. Was he talking about me? Well obviously he said my name! He, the Greek god himself, was thinking about me! Curse his fast thinking. I wish I could pick up his full sentences. I breathed in deeply and sighed, it was good that he was back. My mind felt complete. It was finally full again. I hadn't even felt him slip back in and fill the hollowness in my mind. The little dark corner which was almost empty for a little under three weeks was finally bright and full.

Like a Christmas pudding. Yum.

Did I just compare Edward to a Christmas pudding? I really was deprived.

Its a good thing that he said my name! Before all he could think of was killing me! Maybe now that Edward was back I could see if Rosalie was truly dead, and maybe I could approach Alice. She had been so good to me, she had even called herself my friend! And yet I hadn't talked to her in almost three whole weeks. Hopefully I could build up the courage to talk to her.

I spent the rest of English hopping on the edge of my seat waiting for more thoughts. But none came.

One thing was for sure, I could not wait for biology. I hadn't even had one lesson with him and I was itching to question or even talk to him.

Dammit.

I almost ran with Jess to lunch. I burst through the cafeteria doors slamming them behind me causing the entire cafeteria to fall silent and stare at me as if I had gone insane. I even wondered if I had gone insane. But for once I didn't care if I was the center of attention.

I ran my eyes over the student body until it reached the table in the corner.

I stared in wonder as I flicked my eyes over the occupants of the table.

I felt as if the breath which I had been holding for the last three weeks had finally been expelled.

Edward sat his body angled away from me. He looked tense but almost... relieved?

His face was pale as usual but his eyes were a light golden colour. His lips were slightly parted and I could vaguely see the tips of his white teeth. It was as if the entire canteen had disappeared it was just me and him. His eyes lay on my face and his gaze had me rivited to the spot. I couldn't look away.

And then it hit me. His face held an unguarded tenderness and he was staring straight at me.

I felt my heart skip a beat and I barely hear Jess talking to me and Mike pushing from behind. I didn't see Rosalie who was sitting right next to Edward a look of disgust on her face. I didn't see Alice clutching Jasper's hand under that table. I didn't see Jasper's look of pain. I didn't see Emmett ready and waiting to restrain Rosalie.

I only saw Edward.

I couldn't move my eyes as his were glued to mine. Never leaving my face. I could tell that he was fighting himself. Don't ask how. Call it ESP but I knew. His cheeks showed tension and I am sure that if I could have seen his hands, that they would be clenched underneath the table.

_How am I supposed to even attempt the stay away from her._

* * *

**A/N:** Whoops, this is kinda shorter than usual. I could say all the normal excuses, but everyone knows them. All I can say is that I'm sorry. Thanks everyone for reviewing (Even though you haven't had an update for a million years). Sometimes a little thing called life gets in the way :D Sorry again and thanks for reading. **Beck you have to write a story now!  
**I love all you guys for sticking with this story.


	11. Announcement and Apology

Hey my lovely lovely readers!

Thank you all so much for favouriting this story, reviewing and just reading my work. It's been years I thought I should write a quick apology to you all.

Basically, over the last few years I have grown up from when I was 15. Now I'm an adult about to finished High School with different interests. While I still like the Twilight saga, I have definitely lost my utter passion which drove me initially to write this story. I'm so sorry to everyone who wants to know what happens, but I simply can't make myself write anymore (and I have tried, believe me!)

If anyone is willing to adopt this story, feel free to personal message me because it would be great to be able to have it finished by someone.

Thank you all again, this definitely isn't the end of my fanfiction experience. I am still an avid reader and I have renewed passion for Harry Potter and other book series' fanfiction. Feel free to stick around for more of my own work once I have finished my struggle with school based around these new passions.

Again I am so so sorry to anyone who will be disappointed, and I can't say how much I appreciate each and everyone of my readers! Thank you and I'm sorry I couldn't continue this story for you all!

Captain Libeka

**Edit: **a few people have asked me and if someone is willing to take up this story I will be sure to let you guys know, I'll make a new chapter with the link there :)


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